Image: BBC One
About This Quiz
No one could have imagined how successful "One Foot in the Grave" would be when it first aired in 1990. In fact, the show was so beloved, it continued as Christmas specials for another half-decade after the show's cancellation. It seemed exactly the right television programme for the moment — its protagonist was suspicious of technology and change at the very dawn of globalization. The characters inhabiting the show were truly human, limited by their perceptions of each other and the world, and just trying to do what they believed was the right thing. "One Foot in the Grave" was the sort of show in which one would see one's parents, friends, and neighbors.
The tricky part of watching "One Foot in the Grave" was seeing oneself in it. If you felt as though a character was a fictionalized version of you, then your investment in the show would have felt very different to that of most of its audience. No one on the show was completely well adjusted, though no one was without virtue. Ask yourself what you would do in their shoes, and you'll quickly find that you second-guess yourself. The good news is that we can help you and forever enhance your viewing experience by determining which "One Foot in the Grave" character you are with this quiz!
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How do you get on with your wider neighbourhood?
It is all arrayed against me.
It doesn't owe me anything, but it's not my enemy.
It's all a bit confusing, isn't it?
I like all of them except my neighbour, who is the worst!
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How have your listening skills impacted your personal life?
I didn't always listen to the right things, and thus, my career has taken some unfortunate turns.
Not listening at times has really fed my paranoia.
Sometimes I just miss key details and they can make all the difference in the world!
I haven't found they've impacted my relationships, though I did have an unfortunate accident once, as a result.
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Without what item of clothes can you not live?
My favourite flat cap
My cardigan
My favorite shoes!
That sort of thing is only for boring, trivial people.
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How do you feel about "the future"?
It's all rigged, reprobate and rotten.
It looks as though it will be quite nice for some people.
It's very exciting, isn't it?
Given that it's stemming from the present, I'm a little worried about it.
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How effective are you at making your case?
Effective? Not very, as evidenced by my track record.
I'm very good at asserting myself and arguing my side of things.
Well, I'm not very good at it. It's just that sometimes things get rather awkward between me and other people.
I'm effective, but never face to face.
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Do you consider yourself an optimist?
All optimists are idiots.
I should hope so!
I try to be.
Of course not. What do you take me for, an idiot?
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What sort of mistakes do you make that impact those about whom you care?
I fail to ingratiate myself to decision-makers, and major changes tend to take me by surprise.
I see intention where it does not exist and find myself jumping to conclusions.
I offer to do favors for people and then mess them up, horribly.
Sometimes I don't look after myself, and then my responsibilities fall on others.
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Who is the weirdest person you know?
One of my partner's friends is a bit odd ...
My husband is a bit weird.
Whom don't I know, thank you very much!
One of my neighbors appears to have some very serious issues I cannot explain.
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Has a partner of yours ever been unfaithful?
No, but my partner does worry that I might!
No, but I do worry.
Yes, and it was a big one.
I can't really discuss that with you, but maybe.
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What are you most paranoid about?
I'm not paranoid. The world really is out to get me.
Being cheated on
Too little, it seems!
I am fairly concerned about what others think of me.
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Who do you prefer, your immediate neighbors, or the ones who live further away?
The dead ones
The quiet ones
The nearer the better!
The further away, the better
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Who do you feel sorry for most frequently?
The truly helpless elderly truly have a special place in my heart. They are like children again.
I feel birds are God's most innocent creatures.
Children, mostly
My dog, of course!
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What do you think the afterlife is like?
Foggy. Very foggy.
A spa, if there's justice
Full of faithful husbands
I don't believe in such silly nonsense.
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How familiar are you with miscellaneous facts and trivia?
I like to think I am, but I have seen evidence to the contrary.
Not really, but then I don't exactly take pride in that skill.
I am like a supercomputer filled with reams of data!
My interests are fairly narrow, so not very.
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Do you have a catchphrase?
"I don't believe it."
"God!"
"Oh dear!"
"What?!"
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What's your ideal residence?
I'd like a house that does not share a wall with the house of a blitherer.
I like where I am.
I'm just happy to have a house!
A house big enough to get lost inside!
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Your neighbour has annoyed you. How do you let them know?
I would complain to my spouse, who would tell the local gossip, who would see it makes its way to the target.
Why, I would just talk to a friend sure to relay the complaint.
I might accidentally sabotage something by way of asking to do a favor for them.
Leave them a litany of Post-It notes with complaints that beat around the bush.
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Someone is in danger! What do you do?
I don't know for sure, but I have charged in without thinking, in the past.
I dial 999, obviously.
Oh! I don't know! I suppose I might freeze! Or throw something! Oh dear!
I'd run for my life, and anyone who is honest would say they'd do the same.
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How has age changed you?
I'm fatter and grumpier.
I'm afraid that I'm becoming more cynical.
I've gotten better in all of my skills!
I'm definitely more jaded than I was.
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How do you feel about retirement?
It's awful. A death sentence.
I think it's fine. What could be wrong with it?
It's lovely! Finally enough time to pursue one's hobbies!
It's great! You can still do what you like.
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What makes a good neighbor?
Leaving me alone!
Warmth
Taking a real interest
Not making waves
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Which dog is the best dog?
No dog!
Any dog!
A Yorkie!
A Dachshund
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What sort of revenge do you hope to enact on your worst neighbour?
Whatever you can get!
Living well
I don't think revenge is very nice at all!
The petty kind
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Do you keep a diary?
That's a waste of time.
I don't have time, but it sounds nice.
Yes, but it's a secret!
Yes, but I regret that I did.
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Who wears the trousers in your marriage?
I'd say I do, but I'm not sure anymore ...
I'd say I don't, but now and again, I have to reconsider that ...
I got the trousers in the divorce.
We share that item of clothing.
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Can you have too much of a good thing?
Yes, garden gnomes especially
All things in moderation!
It rather depends on the thing in question.
That sounds awesome.
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Have you ever been conned?
Absolutely not! I knew what he was up to the whole time!
No, I don't think so.
I suppose my last relationship was a bit of a con.
Not to my knowledge, but that's rather the point, isn't it?
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In what activity could you engage while having a conversation?
Walking. If the weather is fair.
Tidying. It's just reflex now.
I could, and do engage in conversations while I soundly defeat someone in chess.
Driving. I'm very comfortable behind the wheel.
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Can you believe it?
I can't believe it!
Gosh, no!
Yes. Why wouldn't I believe it?
I can believe it. I always believe it.
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