Which “Only Fools and Horses” Character Are You?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
4 min
Which “Only Fools and Horses” Character Are You?
Image: BBC One

About This Quiz

"Only Fools and Horses" introduced the world to the beloved Trotter brothers, Del Boy and Rodney. A duo of ne'er-do-wells who always try to do the wrong thing (or at best, the right thing the wrong way), the brothers are always on a mission to get out of their absolutely hellish council flat on the 12th floor of the awful Nelson Mandela House. Sure, they're perennially lazy and dishonest, with Rodney's occasional glimmers of decency being led astray by his dominant and criminal brother, but they managed to steal Britain's heart.

The reason for this was that no matter who you are, there's a little bit of the Trotters in you. We've all dreamed of making it big without making any effort or considered taking the shortcut. We've all indulged the fantasy of getting away with it, too! We're sure that you are a wholly honest pillar of the community, but perhaps you have a cheeky streak that's a little like Del Boy, or you're a good person in a bad situation like Rodney. Maybe you're a lifelong striver like Del Boy's beloved Racquel, who never gave up on her dream. Perhaps you're upwardly mobile like Cassandra, the woman Rodney is determined to be good enough to marry.

It's time to find out which of the crew you are, and where exactly you'll fit in at the Nag's Head pub!

1 - fraud to get a free holiday? Have you ever participated in a fraud to get a free holiday?
Of course. Who wouldn't?
Not intentionally
Yes, but reluctantly
No, but I would.

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2 - Shut up, you tart How do you feel about the words, "Shut up, you tart"?
That's a very sensible thing to say when appropriate.
That's rude.
That's trashy.
That's a good way to get a smack.

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3 - break up get back What's the maximum number of times you should get back with someone after breaking up?
I'll tell you when I get there.
As many as it takes to keep them
Three
I'm an optimist, so a lot!

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4 - get rich What is the best way to get rich?
Quickly
I don't feel strongly.
Honestly
Any way suits me

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5 - criminal conviction Among your best friends, how many of them have a criminal conviction?
All of them
A few
None that I know of
I don't care about such things.

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6 - leading weakness What would you say is your leading weakness?
I'm allergic to hard work.
I'm too easily led.
I'm uptight.
I'm just not that clever. I know it. I have other strengths!

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7 - redeeming feature Do you have a redeeming feature that even your enemies would concede is no small thing?
I'm loyal.
I'm loving.
I'm clever.
I'm resilient.

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8 - hair product What hair product best expresses who you are?
Gel
I don't use any!
Smoothing serum
Hairspray

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9 - older relative Would you ever let an older relative come and live with you?
Not happily, but OK.
Sure!
No, I'd pay to support them elsewhere.
They would never want to do that, thank goodness.

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10 - embarrassing relatives How do you avoid your most embarrassing relatives?
I don't!
I lie about knowing them.
I emphasise often that we are not related by blood.
I just don't talk to them.

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11 - dog sit Should people trust you to dog sit for them?
Only if they paid me a lot
Probably not
Sure
Nobody has ever asked me that!

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12 -  start your own business Would you ever start your own business?
I have, many times!
Only with a partner I trust
No, but I might inherit one!
No, that's too much work.

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13 - can't play a player They say you can't play a player. Can you?
Absolutely not
Yes, obviously
Yes, but why would you want to?
I don't think you can. Can you?

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14 - lied to get a date Have you ever lied to get a date?
No comment
Yes, but it was a white lie, or at least, I thought it was.
No
I might have.

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15 - education If wealth is your goal, what sort of education should you pursue?
Watch "Antiques Roadshow"
Finish secondary school!
University, of course
Stage school

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16 - doctor How do you feel about going to the doctor?
Terrified
Sad
I used to be fine with it, but now it makes me feel awful.
I don't mind.

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17 - bought by mistake What is the weirdest thing you've ever bought by mistake?
A large shipment of lead
Luminous paint
Does a nitwit for a husband count?
I haven't, really.

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18 - broom If you replace the handle of your broom, then the head of your broom, is it the same broom?
If it makes you happy to believe it is, then OK, it is.
Some say so, but they are idiots.
That's an interesting philosophical question with many potential answers.
Of course it is!

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19 - nickname How do you feel about your nickname?
I love it!
I find it very strange.
I don't have one.
I have many and I love them all.

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20 -  prevented a crime Have you ever prevented a crime?
Yes, though not as many as I've perpetrated.
Yes, though not on purpose.
Alas, no.
Only small ones, like underage drinking

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21 - cleaning the right chandelier How do you know you're cleaning the right chandelier?
You just have to trust your colleagues.
Your boss says it's the right one.
I wouldn't know.
There's got to be a system for this.

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22 - lot of money What's your idea of a lot of money?
Enough to never have to work again
It used to be about £50, but now it's anything over £3m.
Anything over £1m
Anything over £100

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23 - cheated you at a poker game Your mate has cheated you at a poker game. How do you get your own back?
Cheat back. If he wants to call me out, he has to admit he knows I'm cheating because he cheated.
My mates would never do that ... would they?
I call him out.
I take the money back from his wallet later.

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24 - role model Who is your role model?
Gordon Gekko
My brother
My dad
Barbara Windsor

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25 - signature flirting move What is your signature flirting move?
Calling everyone "darling"
I don't have one.
I let men come to me.
I just tell people when I'm interested.

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26 - three-wheeled vehicles How do you feel about three-wheeled vehicles?
They're fine if that's all you can afford.
They're the best.
They're actually very dangerous.
The Reliant Robin is a great British institution!

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27 - French-speaking abilities How do you feel about your French-speaking abilities?
I'm fluent, nest pass?
Not very good
Pretty great
Only fancy people speak French

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28 - fainted in public Have you ever fainted in public?
Yes, but in my defence, I had just made millions of pounds.
Only from joy
Only from horror
No

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29 - two life-sized inflatable dolls What is the best way to conceal two life-sized inflatable dolls?
Dress them up as your mum, obviously!
Ask my brother!
... why would anyone need to know this?
I'd just pretend they were my friends.

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30 - true love What is the best place to find true love?
Dating agency
In a bar. Who knew?
Just trust in fate!
Anywhere! Love is all around!

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You Got:

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