Which Western Movie Star Is Your Ideal Husband?

By: Zoe Samuel

Which Western Movie Star Is Your Ideal Husband?
Image: WikiCommons

About This Quiz

Nothing has done more to define the Old West in the popular imagination than Hollywood. Westerns were among not only the first action and adventure movies, but also among the first period piece films. 

Westerns are about the mythology of modern America, and part of that is the role of men in Westerns. Men in Westerns can be good, bad and ugly (thanks for the inspiration, Sergio Leone!) In the Western genre, men are in constant competition with each other, unless they're old, in which case they are likely either atoning for their sins, or trying to live out the remainder of their lives quietly.

Western movie stars have become nearly inseparable from their characters in the American collective conscience. While their characters almost always had virtues, they also (nearly always) had terrible flaws. This combination of characteristics made these characters feel human and relatable. Of course, these are fictional characters we're imagining, not the real men who played them. Would you really want to be a friend of Angel Eyes or Doc Holliday?

So, with one eye on the real actors and one eye on the fictional characters, which Western movie star is the romantic partner for you?


What do you like best about Westerns?
The Old West tricks with ropes and guns
The complex characters
The bad guys
The gambling

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How important is personal flexibility in a partner?
Totally unimportant
It's extremely important to me.
It's fairly important to me.
It depends on the situation.

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How much do you mind if your partner has a mean streak?
I don't want that!
I don't mind a bit.
I expect it!
Well, he shouldn't be a pushover!

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How important is it that your partner is good at their job?
It's not very important.
It's fairly important.
It's very important.
They have to be the best there is.

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Are you okay with your partner being a liar?
Yeah! He can lie and lie and lie!
Not really
Only as his character
Not to me

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Do you like a partner who is into tradition?
Only the Western kind
Family traditions are good.
Professional traditions are good.
It's not super important to me.

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Do you like someone who is a secret softy?
Nope!
I don't know.
Yes, definitely.
Yes, a bit.

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How important is a gravelly voice?
Not at all. He can be silent!
Not too important
Fairly important
Very important

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How much do you value a connection to the past?
More than anything
A bit
A lot
I don't really care.

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How future-oriented are you?
Not at all
Totally. I need to know there's one to look forward to.
I keep an eye on the horizon.
A bit, I guess.

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How resourceful are you?
I always keep an eye out for opportunities.
Not very
I'm very good at improvisation.
I can be.

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Do you believe in fair play?
Yeah, generally
When it makes sense, I do.
Only when I'm sure to win!
Not at all

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Do you like to show off?
That's my jam!
Not particularly
Quite a lot
When I can

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If you "go dark," how dark are you willing to go?
Not dark at all
I'll go all the way and shake the hand of the devil.
I'll get pretty dark, but I won't lose my humanity.
There are limits on how far I'll go.

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Do you have friends who are probably better than you?
Not that I'm aware of...
Maybe. I don't think about people that way.
I know one or two, but they're only better if I play fair!
Nope. I'm the best, full stop.

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Do you believe in justice?
Of course!
I don't know. It's a concept, not a fact.
Deserve's got nothing to do with it.
I believe justice is always possible.

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Do you have any role models?
I have a couple mentors.
I look up to some of my friends.
My old teacher is my role model.
I try to be my own role model.

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How conventional are you?
I'm old school, but not conventional.
It's impossible to be more conventional than me.
I'm very unconventional.
I guess I'm just unconventional enough to be interesting.

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Do you prefer city slickers?
Not particularly
No way! I don't mind cities, though.
Absolutely. Give me someone from Brooklyn.
I wouldn't mind someone from the suburbs.

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How tall do you like your men?
6'
6'2"
5'10"
6'3"

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Is it important that your man's name be easy to spell?
Yes!
Pretty important
Not important at all
I don't mind occasionally having to correct people.

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Does your ideal man do his own stunts?
Of course! He's a Western movie star!
No, I don't think so.
He should at least be able to ride his own horse!
He should do all his own stunts and be a total boss.

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Is your ideal Western movie star funny?
Not even a bit
Deep, yes. Funny? Not so much.
Yes, he should have a glimmer of humor in his eyes.
He should have a good deadpan.

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Is your dream partner the marrying kind?
Not really
Absolutely
Deep down, he should be.
I think that it's more exciting if that question remains up in the air.

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Does your partner smoke on screen a lot?
No more than the average
A bit
Tons. He should make a show of it.
Not excessively

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What modern car do you think your ideal Western movie star would drive today?
A Porsche 911 Turbo
A Dodge Ram
A Caddy ATS
A Chevy SS

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How famous is your ideal Western movie star, today?
Virtually unknown
His name should be recognizable.
Famous among fans of the genre
Hugely famous

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What major award should he have won?
None. Nothing.
An Oscar for best actor
The BAFTA, more than once
A Primetime Emmy

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In what modern movie would you cast your ideal Western movie star?
"Haywire"
"Captain America: The First Avenger"
"Drive"
"The Dark Knight"

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What cowboy song do you think he'd sing?
"Home on the Range"
"Ghost Riders in the Sky"
"Cancion del Mariachi"
"Don't Fence Me In"

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You Got:

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