Which of the Wise Men Are You?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
3 min
Which of the Wise Men Are You?
Image: Liliboas/E+/Getty Images

About This Quiz

The story of the birth of Jesus is one that probably six out of the seven billion people on the planet have heard. The image of the Nativity, as depicted in a million dioramas, sculptures, paintings, stained glass windows, and movies, is more familiar than almost any other cultural depiction. It's the Nike swoosh of religion; absolutely everyone knows what it is.

Everyone knows, therefore, that the Nativity had certain people and guests present. The family of Jesus is a given: Mary, Joseph, and typically at least one angel standing in for God. Then there were the three Wise Men, who traveled under the light of a guiding star to bring gifts to honor the birth of a newborn king who would bring to fruition many great prophecies. The humble setting is familiar too, as the family of Jesus came to Bethlehem late to register for the census, and found that there was no room in any of the local inns. They ended up in a stable, and Jesus was placed in a manger.

Whether you believe the story is literal or simply a beautiful story, its power is undeniable. Let's see which of the three famous guests you are most like!

How important is money?
Somewhat
A little
Very
Not at all

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How far did you travel to get there?
1,000 miles
1,500 miles
3,000 miles
100 miles

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Did you have to take a ship or boat?
Yes
No, but I chose to.
No, it was all land.
Only across a river so it was more of a ferry.

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What method of travel did you use?
Camel
Horse
Elephant
Feet

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How cynical were you before you arrived?
A little
A lot
Totally
Not at all

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Did your people book you a room at the inn before you got there?
Nah, I can handle a manger.
I brought a paviliion.
Of course, I can't stay in a manger!
I wish.

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Were you expecting something a bit fancier than a stable?
I wasn't really thinking about it.
Kinda, yeah. But it makes sense now.
Yes, and I am offended on Jesus' behalf.
No, this is what I expected.

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Do you have any other godchildren?
A couple
Just one
Many
No

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What faith did you have before you became arguably the first three Christians?
Mostly Jewish
A local faith to my kingdom
Hindu. I'm still not a Christian.
No faith

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How heavy was the present you brought?
Not bad
Quite heavy
Super heavy
Light

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How do you like to relax?
Dance
Poetry and incense
See a play
Nap

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How do you feel about King Herod?
I hate that guy.
He's an idiot.
I don't feel strongly.
I like him.

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What sort of relationship do you have with the Roman Empire?
I fear them.
I hate them.
I don't care about them.
They're OK.

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What's your native land?
Egypt or Sheba, depending on who you ask
Persia
India
Judea

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How peaceful is your homeland?
Fairly, actually
Very
Not very
It's under Roman rule so either totally or not at all, depending on how you look at it!

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Does your country get on with Rome?
Yes, we have no choice.
Yes, they don't mess with us.
We don't talk much, really.
No, they crushed us!

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Do you feel that "wise man" is a more or less accurate description than king?
I'm more of a king, really.
Yes, that's my main job.
I like to see myself as both.
I'm not actually either but don't tell anyone!

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What area are you particularly wise in?
Science
Art
Architecture
Farming

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How old are you?
20
40
60
14

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What's your facial hair situation?
No beard
Brown beard
White beard
Shaggy short salt-and-pepper hair

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Which is the best gospel?
Matthew
Mark
Luke
John

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What did you visit on your way home?
Jerusalem
Damascus
Aleppo
Another stable. It was sweeeeeet!

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What is your homeland called today?
Yemen or Egypt, depending on who you ask.
Iran
India
Israel

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By which Biblical name would people now know your land?
Sheba
Persia
They didn't really have a name for it in the Bible.
Canaan, probably.

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How long did it take you to get to Bethlehem?
Two weeks
One week
A month
Four days

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Had you been there before?
Yes, once
A few times
Nope
I'm from there.

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What is the best thing the Romans did?
Medicine
Art
Roads
Public order

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What is the symbolism of giving frankincense?
I don't know, it's probably just what he had lying around.
It means worship, because Jesus is holy.
It's expensive.
It smells good!

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Why is myrrh a good present?
It reminds us that death comes to us all, which is important.
It packs up small.
Again, it's pricey.
It isn't. It smells bad and is a bad gift.

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When Herod asked you to tell him where to find the newborn king so he could kill him, how did you refuse?
I sent him a present.
I told him the wrong location.
Just went home before he could!
I pretended not to understand the question.

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You Got: