Which World Record Would You Break?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
3 min
Which World Record Would You Break?
Image: Shutterstock

About This Quiz

Obviously, records like the fastest 100-meter sprint or the longest high jump are out of the reach of mere mortals. But there are plenty of other records you could get. Check out this quiz to find one!
Do you mind looking silly?
I want someone else to do that.
It's not silly.
I don't mind.
I love it.
Do you want something that will go viral?
I don't feel strongly.
Only within my niche.
Not really.
Yes, please.
Do you like dogs?
Love them.
I do not like them.
I do not feel strongly about dogs.
They're cool.

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Do you have access to office supplies?
Not really.
Yes, lots.
Sometimes.
So, so many.
Do you have a smooth face?
Yes, but my bestie doesn't.
Yes, I'm very young.
No.
Indeed I do, but not too smooth.
Do you like T-shirts?
On dogs, you mean?
Yes, if they have logos.
Love them!
Not really.

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What is your physique?
Four-legged.
Scrawny.
Petite.
Large-faced. Weird, but true.
Do you have an actual talent?
Not really.
Yes.
No, just a good pair of legs.
No, but who needs it?
How nerdy are you?
Not very.
Extremely.
A little.
Very.

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Who do you want to be proud of you?
My dog.
Nerds.
Everyone!
My bestie who dared me.
Whose ridicule do you want to incur?
Cat people.
Jocks.
Boring people who are no fun.
Most of society.
Do you like an actual challenge?
Nope.
Yes, please!
Once in a while.
I like a challenge that is difficult but pointless.

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Do you want to spend money on your challenge?
Only money I was gonna spend anyway. Then I can deduct it. Right?
A little.
Quite a bit.
Maybe like five bucks.
Do you want something you can put on a resume?
Nope.
Yes, sort of.
I will put it on, but only to screen out bores.
I actively don't want that.
How's your memory?
Kinda poor.
Terrific.
Terrible.
Not bad.

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How's your speaking voice?
I only talk to my dog.
Sublime.
I don't mind it.
It's OK.
Are you patient?
Very.
Extremely.
Only for short bursts.
Not really.
Are you planning to go on "America's Got Talent?"
Yes and I will win.
No, they have short attention spans.
I am too good for them.
Alas, no.

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Do you devour books?
Literally, yes, my dog does that.
Figuratively, yes.
Not really.
Only if I can annotate.
How much time do you have on your hands?
So, so much.
Even more than so, so much.
Not much.
Two minutes.
Do you care if you're actually proud of the record?
Yes!
It's the most important thing. I need the nerd cred.
No, I just want one.
I will be weirdly proud of it.

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Given the nature of the record, will this be the high point of your life?
Probably.
Definitely.
Doubt it.
I hope not.
Will your record be equally valid in different cultures?
Yes, it is beyond language.
No, it is all about language.
Yes, unless they have other rules.
Should be.
What sort of person do you want to beat for this record?
Other dog people.
Lesser nerds.
Larger people who doubt my lithe frame can handle this.
Really dorky people who are on a dare.

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Do you like a well-established record?
Not really.
I want to be first.
Yes, please.
I don't mind.
Do you want to set a record that is very unlikely to be beaten right after you get it?
I must hold it forever!
That'd be great.
No, I don't mind holding it briefly.
That'd be OK but annoying.
Would you have to be drunk to take on this record?
Not at all.
That would seriously damage my chances.
That would not help.
That might help a little.

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What are you prepared to sacrifice for your record?
Money.
Time.
Dignity.
Reputation as a sensible person.
Do you mind the risk that you may regret setting this record?
I will not regret it. It's too clever.
I will not regret it, I will dine out on it forever.
Yeah, but you gotta live, you know?
I embrace that risk.
Which is better: notoriety, or fame?
Fame, as long as it involves my dog.
Definitely fame.
Notoriety.
Either suits me.

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You Got: