Who Is Your Emo Husband?

By: Alex Wittman

Who Is Your Emo Husband?
Image: Wiki Commons by Stefan Brending (2eight)

About This Quiz

Remember all those feelings you used to have back in the 2000s? Sure, maybe it had something to do with all those teenage hormones coursing through your adolescent body. But we think the emo music that filled up your iPod was also a major contributing factor. Just think back to all those nights you stayed up writing about your crush while listening to a mixed CD of all the best '00s emo bands. My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, Death Cab For Cutie or Panic! at the Disco. Is nostalgia setting in yet?

Just like you'll never forget the lyrics to Fall Out Boy's "Sugar, We're Goin Down," you'll always remember the *insert fire emoji* front men of your favorite emo bands. From their carefully straightened hair to the studded belts holding up their black jeans, those guys put the HOT in Hot Topic. 

But more important than their looks, their songs gave you the words to express how you were feeling. We're not ashamed to admit more than a few of our AIM away messages came from My Chemical Romance's "Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge" album. Gerard Way knew we were not okay. 

We know you'd trade your favorite pair of Chuck Taylors to see your beloved emo men take the Warped Tour stage again. But since their (and your), mosh pit and crowd surfing days are over, you'll have to settle for our quiz. Let's turn back the hands of time and answer the most important question of the 2000s: who is your emo husband? 


Throwing it way back, who did you go to your first concert with?
My friends
My older sibling
My boyfriend
My parents

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When you attend a show, where do you usually post up to watch?
I'm all about the mosh pit.
As close as I can to the stage
Somewhere in the back where no one is shoving me
I like to move around for different vibes.

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In your opinion, which essential emo look is your favorite for a guy?
Black eyeliner
Black nail polish
Tattoos
Skinny tie

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In the 2000s, what was your primary way of listening to your emo jams?
My iPod
The radio
Mixed CDs
I bought all my favorite bands' albums from the store.

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At the height of your emo phase, which band could you not get enough of?
Fall Out Boy
My Chemical Romance
Dashboard Confessional
Panic! at the Disco

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Thinking about your dating history, which of the following characteristics is most important to you?
Attractiveness
Creativity
Sensitivity
Spontaneity

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If you were writing a dating profile, which of the following would you include?
"Family is very important to me."
"I use my art to express myself."
"I appreciate good conversation."
"I'm looking for someone who's not afraid to be nerdy with me."

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Imagine you're planning your emo wedding to your emo husband. What detail must it include?
My hot emo husband singing his vows to me
Me wearing a black wedding dress with a veil, of course
Walking down the aisle to acoustic guitar music
The whole wedding party wearing Chucks

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Awww, so sweet! How could your emo husband best display his affection to you?
Matching black manicures
Giving me a bouquet of black calla lilies
Getting my name tattoed
A carefully selected mixed CD

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Remember AOL Instant Messenger? Which of the following lyrics would you have totally put as your away message?
"Am I more than you bargained for yet? / I’ve been dying to tell you anything you want to hear"
"What's the worst thing I can say / Things are better if I stay / So long and goodnight / So long and goodnight"
"Vindicated / I am selfish I am wrong / I am right, I swear I'm right / Swear I knew it all along"
"Let's get these teen hearts beating / Faster, faster"

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When you were growing up, where did you and your friends like to hang out?
The mall
Each other's basements
The park
The bowling alley or movie theater

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As a teenager, what were you most likely to stay up at night thinking about?
What I was going to wear to school the next day
The fate of humanity
My crush
A big test at school

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Which of the following words best describes you?
Outgoing
Artsy
Shy
Silly

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Aside from black (obviously), which of the following colors is more present in your wardrobe?
Blue
Red
Green
Orange

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Emo girls! Whose 2000s style did you love?
Ashlee Simpson
Avril Lavigne
Hayley Williams
Meg and Dia

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When you were a teenager, what kind of emo boy could you not resist?
A boy with shaggy hair
A boy wearing makeup
A boy with piercings
A boy in tight jeans

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Which season makes you feel the most emo(tional)?
Fall
Winter
Spring
Summer

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At a concert, which of the following do you always do?
Crowd surf
Dance like no one is watching
Cry when the band plays my favorite song
Wait in the meet & greet line

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If you were in a band, what would your role be?
Bass player
Lead singer
Guitar player
Drummer

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What's your favorite emo fashion statement?
Studded belts
Black wristbands
Band T-shirts
Skinny jeans

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If you could go back in time and dye your hair one of the following colors, which would it be?
Black
Red
Blue
Purple

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Which of the following books resonated the most with your angsty teenage heart?
"The Outsiders" by S.E. Hinton
"The Stranger" by Albert Camus
"The Catcher in the Rye" by J.D. Salinger
"The Perks of Being a Wallflower" by Stephen Chbosky

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You and your emo husband are planning your honeymoon. Were would you like to go?
Hawaii
Paris, France
Florence, Italy
India

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Imagine you and your emo husband are taking up a hobby together. Which of the following most interests you?
Ballroom dancing
Drawing
Acroyoga
Cosplaying

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If you were to start your own emo band, which of the following names might you consider?
Black Cards
The Hormones
Forever Seems Further
Open Happiness

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Once you and your emo husband are married, where will you two settle down?
Chicago, Illinois
Los Angeles, California
Boca Raton, Florida
Las Vegas, Nevada

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If your emo husband wasn't a singer, what do you think his career would be?
Fashion mogul
Comic book writer
Poet
Broadway star

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Festival vibes! Which of the following is your favorite music festival?
Bonnaroo
Pitchfork
Outside Lands
Lollapalooza

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How do you imagine you and your emo husband spending date night?
Out at a trendy restaurant
Working together on a shared, creative hobby
At home, snuggled on the couch and watching Netflix
I know he'd surprise me with something crazy and fun.

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If you could go back and give your teenage self advice, which of the following might you say?
"No one knows what they're doing."
"Stay true to yourself."
"Don't be afraid to tell someone how you feel."
"You're cool just the way you are."

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