Would You Be an Army Ranger or a Navy SEAL?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
4 min
Would You Be an Army Ranger or a Navy SEAL?
Image: Shutterstock

About This Quiz

The Army Ranger and the Navy SEAL are two of the most iconic figures in our military culture. They are both Special Forces, drawn from different parts of the American military. The military itself has four branches: the Army, the Navy, the Air Force, and the Marines. They are each tasked with defending the homeland and carrying out operations to secure global security. 

Not all of what they do is about war, either - they provide a huge amount of humanitarian aid, and when there are terrorists to be fought, they are often sent in. They also secure the high seas and the world's key trade routes against piracy. The world is a lot more dangerous for some people because of them, it's true - and many of those people are sadly innocent civilians - but it's also a lot safer for many, including not just Americans but also our allies and even some of our enemies. Even by current standards (i.e., civil war), it would be a particularly miserable day indeed in Yemen, for example, if the Gulf of Aden or the Red Sea were overrun by pirates!

Each military branch has its own special elite units to match its particular required skill set. If you tell us about your skills and preferences, we'll see which of these two elite fighting forces you should join - or whether you should stay at home instead!

How often did you go camping when you were growing up?
Every weekend.
A couple times a month.
Every holiday.
Never.

Advertisement

Do you still go camping, as an adult?
All the time.
Sometimes.
Almost never.
Never.

Advertisement

How old were you when you mastered swimming?
About 10
About 6
About 8
I still can't swim.

Advertisement

How old were you when you first learned to cook?
About 10
About 13
High school age
I only know how to make Swanson Hungry Man dinners.

Advertisement

Do you know how to sail?
I know some of the basics.
I know how to sail with a lateen sail.
Give me a boat with a keel and a sail and I can handle it.
Nope, not at all.

Advertisement

What do you need to navigate where there are no roads or trails?
To see which way the rivers flow.
The stars and moon.
A compass.
Google.

Advertisement

What do you need to start a fire?
Dry tinder and two sticks.
Some flint.
A lens.
A lighter.

Advertisement

What do you need to improvise shelter?
Some branches and leaves.
A space blanket and topography.
A shovel.
Hotels.com

Advertisement

What do you need to improvise marine transportation?
A pair of trousers.
Some rope and whatever is lying around.
Driftwood.
I can't do that!

Advertisement

How's your vision?
20/20
Correctable nearsightedness.
I wear reading glasses.
I'm colorblind.

Advertisement

How comfortable are you in freezing conditions?
I wouldn't say I'm comfortable, but I can tough out a blue nose.
I'm not a fan of the cold, but if I have the right gear, I can manage.
I'm comfortable in the cold.
Gosh! Not at all! I live in Miami!

Advertisement

How comfortable are you in very hot conditions?
I'm happy to sweat it out.
I would invade The Sun if the enemy were there.
Heat is just another obstacle, like a wall or a moat.
I'm not a fan of extreme heat. That's what AC is for!

Advertisement

Do you know what direction to approach a Bedouin encampment from?
The north, obviously.
Whichever side they can't see you coming from.
I'm going to ask the translator.
What's a Bedouin?

Advertisement

Would you like to work for JSOC?
If I must.
It'd be an honor.
I'll work for whoever I'm ordered to work for.
I'd rather work for JSHOES.

Advertisement

What do you think about the USAF?
They come in handy when you can't mortar something.
They make a good taxi.
They're indispensable when you can paint a target that's out of range.
Fighter pilots! Weeeeee!

Advertisement

What aircraft is the most important one on the battlefield?
The A-10 Warthog. Don't fix what ain't broke.
Raptor drones. They get the job done.
Aerial reconnaissance aircraft. Knowing is half the battle.
The SR-71. Definitely the coolest choice.

Advertisement

If you were going to have a boring job in the military, what would you like to do?
Tank Turret Mechanic.
Gunner's Mate.
Cybercommand.
Media Relations.

Advertisement

If you were in law enforcement, what sort of job would you want?
NYPD Detective.
FBI Investigator.
SWAT.
Chief of Police.

Advertisement

What sport do you follow?
Baseball.
Basketball.
MMA.
Football.

Advertisement

What sort of injury frightens you the least?
Broken finger.
Sprained ankle.
Lacerated scalp.
Bad sunburn.

Advertisement

Which of the following frightens you the most?
Death by starvation.
Death by drowning.
Death by disease.
Dogs.

Advertisement

How are you with rock climbing?
I can climb like a spider.
I can climb like a monkey.
I go free climbing on occasion.
I'm too afraid to try it!

Advertisement

How long can you hold your breath?
As long as I need, which isn't long.
About a minute.
Five minutes.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5... five seconds.

Advertisement

Can you name a class of knot other than just "knots"?
Bends.
Hitches.
Wet knots.
You got me.

Advertisement

What is a fairlead?
Sounds made up to me.
The furthest forward on deck fitting through which the job sheet passes.
It's a thing on sailboats.
Is it in a race, where you get out way ahead?

Advertisement

What is an R2D2?
Sounds like swabbie slang to me.
A big nasty gat you want on your side.
A CIWS. They're getting phased out these days, but they're really good.
A repair droid from Star Wars. Duh.

Advertisement

If you're the enemy, and American soldiers with rainbow patches on their uniforms are coming for you, what should you do?
Run for your life.
Cross a body of water in the hope they can't track you.
Camouflage yourself well and hope for the best.
Rainbows? What's the worst thing that could happen? It's not like they're the 42nd Infantry Division.

Advertisement

Do you plan on going into intelligence after your service is over?
I don't know, but I will stay in civil service of some kind.
No, I think I'll go into the private sector.
Yes, probably.
No, I'm gonna write a book!

Advertisement

Which motto appeals to you the most?
This we'll defend.
Not for self, but for the country.
Service before self.
Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, hear the lamentations of their women.

Advertisement

Do you come from a military family?
Yep. All army.
Yes, Navy.
Yes, the USAF.
No.

Advertisement

You Got: