Image: Getty Images via ultramarinfoto
About This Quiz
You are a dog, clearly. If you are at all confused by this, you aren't alone. We weren't counting on many dogs using our site, but we're glad you're here. Maybe we are wrong, and we only had you confused with a friendly pooch, which is a kind of a high compliment when you think about it. Either way, knowing what kind of dog you are can be confusing. The task before us then is to work out what kind of dog you are.
Regardless of your actual status as either a human or a dog, you should probably know what kind of dog you are, or what kind you would be anyway if you were a dog. Dog breeds are as varied and diverse as people after all, and you can learn a lot about a person by the kind of dog they own. Sorry! We know that if you are a dog, the "ownership" issue might be a little touchy, but then, dogs did effectively domesticate themselves about ten thousand years ago, so take it up with the ancient man if that bothers you. Don't worry though, because you're a very good dog! Very good!
Are you still curious about what kind of dog you are? Take this quiz and find out!
Would you rather have a great sense of sight or of smell?
Probably smell, for hunting
Definitely sight
Definitely smell
Probably sight, so I can watch TV.
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Would you rather get your lost dog back for free after a week, or have to pay $500 to get it back in a day?
I'd probably cough up the money.
I'd probably wait. Easier.
I'd definitely pay up, for sure! I need my best friend!
I'd definitely wait it out. I have better things to spend money on.
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Would you rather wear a leash, or a harness?
I'd probably rather wear a harness. It's easier on my throat.
I'd probably rather wear a leash, to keep it out of my hair.
I'd definitely rather wear a harness. I need to feel if I'm being pulled, without being impeded.
I'd definitely want a leash, one of those skinny leather designer ones.
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Would you rather play catch with a tennis ball or a Frisbee?
Definitely a tennis ball! This way I don't have to feel bad about killing it!
Probably a Frisbee. More challenging.
Definitely a Frisbee. I can jump in the air to get it.
Probably the ball. I can't run fast.
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Would you rather play outside in the summer or the winter?
Definitely the winter! I'm all set! Bring it on!
Probably the summer. I have low body fat.
Probably the winter. I like the feel of snow crunching underfoot.
Definitely the summer. I can't take the winter.
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Would you rather track or retrieve?
Definitely track. Can I also... you know... go after it myself?
Probably retrieve
Probably track
Definitely retrieve
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Would you rather sleep or snuggle?
Definitely sleep! I had a long day.
Probably snuggle. I need to keep warm.
Probably sleep. I got a good workout.
Definitely snuggle. It's my only sport!
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Would you rather have a couple doggie treats, or some bacon?
Definitely bacon, so long as it isn't cured!
Probably doggie treats. I have a sensitive tummy.
Probably bacon. Nothing says "reward" like it.
Definitely treats! I will be so cute in exchange for treats!
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Would you rather go for long walkies where you get ignored a bit, or a short walkies when you get all the attention?
Long walkies, definitely. I'll go find some critter in the woods to entertain myself.
Probably the short one. I like attention and grooming.
Probably the long walkies
Definitely the short one. I have short legs.
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Would you rather go for a long walk in the woods on a leash or a short time in the dog run off leash?
I'll definitely be fine with the leash, just to get out in the woods.
I'll probably go for the walk in the woods.
I'd definitely rather hit the dog run! Friends! Hooray!
I'd probably rather go for the dog run. I have a bad hip.
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Would you rather play in nasty weather or play indoors?
Definitely bring on the nasty weather!
Probably indoors, where I can shed everywhere.
Probably outdoors, if it's stimulating.
Definitely indoors. I don't like it outdoors.
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Would you rather chase rabbits or chase a truck?
Definitely rabbits. They're more fun when you catch them!
Probably rabbits. Easier to catch!
Definitely a truck! I can chase it all day!
Probably a truck. It'll be gone, and over soon.
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Would you rather get groomed or get filthy?
Definitely filthy! Mud time!
Definitely groomed. Look at me. I'm so beautiful.
Probably filthy. I love a little muck.
Probably groomed. Then I can lie down.
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Would you rather eat something uncomfortably spicy or go to the vet?
Spicy, for sure.
Ewww! Probably the vet.
Hm. Probably the spicy food.
Definitely the vet. I probably need to go anyway.
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Would you rather live on a ranch or in a city?
Definitely the ranch. I can really get out there.
Probably a ranch, so long as I can get back into the city sometimes.
Probably the city, if I'm constantly stimulated.
Definitely the city. The countryside is for rubes.
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Would you rather eat only dog food or only human food?
Probably only human food
Probably only dog food
Definitely only human food
Only dog food. Definitely.
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Would you rather have a Kong chew toy, or a bone to chomp through?
Give me the bone right now!
Probably the bone
Probably the Kong. I don't want to get any bad habits.
Definitely the Kong! It's my friend!
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Would you rather hunt big game or hunt a spot from a laser pointer?
I'll hunt game anywhere! Gimme now!
I'll probably go hunting big game.
I'll definitely go nuts for the laser!
I'll probably chase the laser dot.
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Would you rather eat fancy dog food out of a crystal bowl, or off the plate of pot roast that fell from the table?
Who am I kidding? The pot roast! It's all mine!
Probably the fancy dog food. I love digging to see my reflection.
Probably the pot roast.
Definitely the fancy stuff. I'm so fancy.
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Would you rather get around in your master's Jeep or your master's handbag?
Definitely the Jeep. I need room!
Probably the handbag, but it'll need to be big!
Probably the Jeep. I don't think I could fit in a handbag.
Definitely the handbag. That's my jam.
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Would you rather chill and look strong, or run hard all day?
I'll probably run all day.
I definitely want to chill and look strong. Look at me! I look great!
I'd definitely want to run all day! I'll run all night!
I'll probably want to chill. I can't do much, so chilling works best.
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Would you rather do the right thing without fail even if it fills you with sadness, or be naughty and get shamed for it all the time?
I'll definitely always do the right thing.
I'll probably do the right thing.
I'll probably be naughty.
I'll definitely be naughty. Do you even know me, brah?
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Would you rather play in the sand or the snow?
Definitely the snow!
Probably the sand
Probably the snow
Definitely the sand... but can I just stay home?
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Would you rather go camping or go shopping?
Camping! Yeah!
Probably shopping. Everyone loves me, and I love the attention.
Probably camping. I like the outdoors.
Definitely shopping! Shopping for me!
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Would you rather spend a night in the doghouse, or go a night without dinner?
The doghouse, definitely.
Probably no dinner. I can't sleep outside!
Probably the doghouse.
Definitely no dinner. I can't sleep outside! Are you nuts?
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Would you rather have a fellow dog under the same roof, or have your master all to yourself?
I'd probably rather have my master to myself.
I'd probably rather a friend.
I'd definitely prefer to have a pal.
I'd definitely not want another dog! I'm the best dog! Me! Forever!
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Would you rather live with an avid sportsman or a bunch of active children?
An avid sportsman! Yeah! Hiking! Sightseeing! Hunting!
Probably just a bunch of kids
Probably the avid sportsman
Definitely the kids. I can't get dirty!
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Would you rather have a job that's part of a sport with your master, or part of your master's profession?
I'd definitely rather hang with a sportsman.
I'd rather be with a sportsman.
I definitely want to help on the job. I like to work!
I probably want to help on the job, so long as the master is an interior designer.
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Would you rather be the hero defending your master's home, or have your master save you from any harm?
I will be the hero! I will save everyone!
I'd probably rather be saved by my master.
I'll probably be the hero if there's an opportunity.
I'd definitely want to be saved. I'm pretty useless in a fight.
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Would you rather run barefoot on hot pavement or over a patch of thistles?
Definitely the thistles. I hate the heat.
Probably the pavement. Ouch.
Probably the thistles
Definitely the pavement! I can't step on something sharp!
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