You May Be Truly British If You've Done 19/30 of These Things!

Zoe Samuel

5 Min Quiz

Image: Shutterstock

About This Quiz

Being British isn't just something you can be born into... OK, technically, it is something you can absolutely be born into. However, there is a lot more to being British than simply being born that way. There are a whole host of national traditions, from the sublime to the ridiculous, from the delightful to the possibly slightly onerous, that you should be engaging in if you are British. You don't have to do all of them regularly, but you do have to do most of them at least once.

These traditions include things like grossly over-indulging in tea and alcohol; apologizing for things that other people did to you instead of the reverse; generating picture-perfect Yorkshire puddings with ease; cursing like a sailor whether or not the situation is appropriate and many more. If you've ever been absolutely bamboozled as to why a person would allow the weather to dictate their plans, or how it's possible to go out in the sun (no matter your skin tone) without getting burned, then you're British. If you know every Doctor Who by number and every "Downton Abbey" character by name, you're extra British.

Are you as British as Queen Victoria? Let's find out!

Have you ever had more than four cups of tea in a day?

Only every day!

A few times.
Once.

I hate tea.

Have you ever apologized to someone who shoved you?

Of course.

Yes, it makes them feel bad.
Not recently.

No, they shoved me!

Have you ever gotten a sunburn in less than 20 minutes, irrespective of your complexion?

Of course.

A few times.
Once.

No!

Can you successfully chug a pint?

Naturally!

Yes but I always puke after.
Only with a break halfway down

Why would I even try?

Have you ever produced a flawless Yorkshire pudding?

Every Sunday!

A few times
I thought I had but then it deflated!

What is that?

"Would the end of June suit you to shack up"? Does this sound like a good marriage proposal?

Of course!

I have heard a version of that.
I have not.

I have never proprosed.

Have you ever been so drunk that you couldn't remember the last 12 hours?

I don't remember

Yes, many times
I don't think so

I have never been that drunk

Have you ever used more than 1,000 curse words in a single day?

Every day!

Only in adult company.
That's going a bit far.

No, that's appalling.

Have you ever described three consecutive days of 77°F (25°C) as a "heatwave"?

That is a heatwave!

Yes, though not in front of foreigners.
Only as a joke.

LOL no, that is a nice day.

Have you ever simply been unable to understand why a person might change their plans because it is raining?

Of course. Why would you do that?

I've been confused but then I understood.
No, I get it, I just think it is stupid.

No, that's quite sensible.

What is the ratio of "I love yous" you've said to dogs, as compared to the number of people to whom you have said it?

I've never said this to a person but I've said it to every dog I've ever encountered, so technically infinity to zero.

50 dogs per person
1 dog per person

Definitely more people than dogs

Can you name more than 10 characters on "Downton Abbey"?

Yes, of course, and their dogs.

Yes, just about.
I can name five.

What is "Downton Abbey"?

Have you ever used a verb to describe being drunk, that doesn't actually mean being drunk, and just assumed everyone will understand?

I'm bingoed right now actually!

Yes, but in my defense, I was totally microwaved.
No, I only ever say that I was bladdered or trollied, which people know.

I don't drink.

How many Doctor Whos could you identify?

All of them.

5
2

None

Have you ever laughed at the idea of turning on the heat when you're only wearing one cardigan?

Of course, that's wasteful.

I do love layering...
I would prefer not to wear two cardigans.

What's wrong with doing that?

Have you ever eaten a McVitie's chocolate digestive?

I'm eating one right now!

Yesterday!
I wish, they look good.

No, what is that?

Have you ever been offended when someone mis-assessed your social class?

Yes, how dare they! How very dare they!

Yes, but I did not respond outwardly.
Only mildly.

Nah.

Have you ever been confused when someone suggested that the food in London isn't good?

Yes, London is a world capital, it has everything.

A little, I mean, that hasn't been true since 1989.
No, they probably just want to the wrong part.

But the food in London isn't good!

Have you ever been smug about how little you pay for world-class healthcare?

Yes but I complain about it every day anyway.

Only when I meet an American.
No, why would that make me smug?

But everyone in Britain is at death's door because of a bureaucrat who won't let them have a toothbrush. I know, I read it on Reddit.

Have you ever complained about the weather daily even though it's actually quite nice most of the time?

Of course, it's my top pastime.

Often, yes.
Once in a while.

No, I only do that when the weather is bad.

Have you ever gone to bed at 7 pm in December because the sun's been down for four hours already so you might as well?

Yeah. Screw it, it's pitch black outside.

Once. It was nice actually.
Only since having kids.

No, I'm still at work then.

Have you ever called someone a "chav"?

If they are a chav then I call them a chav!

Not recently, it's not very polite.
Only when I really mean it.

What is a chav?

Have you recently referred to a poorly-behaved youth as a "hoodie"?

No, that's not current slang.

I have, yes.
No but I'm going to now you suggest it!

No, what the heck?

Have you ever worried that calling something "PC gone mad" is a bit cliche?

Yes, it's hysteria gone mad!

No, it's my very favorite thing to say and you can pry that phrase out of my cold dead hands.
Not really.

It's not cliche, it's just stupid.

Have you ever said someone reminds you of Hyacinth Bucket?

Yes, everyone who annoys me gets called that.

Quite a few times.
No but it sounds like I should be.

I don't know who that is.

Have you ever woken up from the sun rising outside and realized it's only 3:45 am?

No, I have triple interlined curtains. What do you take me for, some sort of barbarian?

Yes. I felt terribly silly.
Sort of, I got dressed and then realized.

No, you have to be in the Arctic for that to happen.

Have you ever been worried because you didn't have a suitable hat for Ascot?

Of course not, I have a suitable hat for all occasions.

Constantly. I'm not even invited but you never know.
I wish. They would never let me in no matter what I wear.

No, that's ridiculous.

You have to change your clothes. What is the smallest piece of fabric under which you can change without showing any skin?

A hankie

A dishcloth
A towel

A sheet

Can you tie a proper double Windsor with your eyes shut?

My dog can do that.

Of course.
No but I can do it on myself and other people.

Nobody can do that.

Has your train ever arrived on time?

Ha! Never.

There was that one time, I think.
Yes most days!

Who takes a train anymore?

6 Minute Quiz 6 Min

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