You May Be Ready for a Relationship Again If You've Done at Least 23/30 of These Things

RELATIONSHIPS

Zoe Samuel

5 Min Quiz

Image: lovro77/E+/Getty Images

About This Quiz

There are an awful lot of "rules" out there about what it takes to get over a relationship. Some people say you need to stop loving the person; others that you need to forget them. Some say it's healthy to hate them, while others would say that hate is simply the opposite of love and what you should really be aiming for is indifference. There's a train of thought that says you should remain friends with your exes, and a contrasting one that says that means you'll never really get over them. Then there are the folks who believe in The One and fatalistically believe that any relationship that you're capable of getting over at all must inherently have never been all that big of a deal in the first place - and if that's the case, then clinging on to the shreds of it long past the point that it's healthy or productive becomes a much more explicable behavior.

The truth is that there is no right way to move on. If the relationship ended particularly badly or was itself very toxic, healing can be very complex. Still, there are certain milestones that are good to hit before you leap back into dating again. You don't have to hit them all, and you're the best judge of your own future - but they might come in handy as a guide. Let's see which ones you've passed!

Have you stopped calling them?

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Have you stopped crying most of the time?

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If you run into them, do you care how you look?

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Have you gotten back into regular eating habits?

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Have you fixed whatever terrible "revenge makeover" you got?

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Have you taken down the photos?

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Have you changed your applicable social media?

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Have you blocked their number or social accounts if necessary?

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Have you handled all legal paperwork, e.g., decree nisi, custody, lease, etc.?

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Have you gotten out of the habit of saying "we" when you give an opinion?

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If you had a ring, have you stopped wearing it?

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Have you (or they) moved out?

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Have you gotten to the point where you can run into them without it being a scene?

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Have you achieved genuine good will toward their future?

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Have you dwelled on fond memories without feeling pure sadness or rage?

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Are you past re-litigating all your old fights constantly in your head?

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Have you figured out who's getting which friends?

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Have you started truly imagining the future without them in it?

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Have you considered dating?

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Have you been on a date?

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Have you gone several days without referring to them at all?

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Have you started calling them "my ex"?

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Do you own the problems in the relationship that are your fault?

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Have you forgiven yourself for any mistakes (including forgiving yourself for being taken in if they manipulated you)?

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Have you thought about them dating again and not been bothered?

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Have you been with anyone else?

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Have you had that moment where you realize a huge load has been taken off your shoulders?

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Have you heard about them acting badly and just thought, "Not my problem"?

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Have you made an online dating profile?

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Have you been able to learn any lessons?

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