You May Be a True Floridian If You've Done 23/30 of These Things!

By: Zoe Samuel
Image: Image Source/DigitalVision/Getty Images

About This Quiz

There are fifty states in the United States of America, but there is only one Florida. With almost twenty-one million residents, the Sunshine State is the third most populous and home to the largest active single port on the eastern seaboard, down in Miami. Florida is mostly swamp, though a lot of it has been drained now to build retirement communities, the sugar and oil industries, and an awful lot of hotels. There are also some very lovely national parks in Florida, most notably the Everglades, a place of world-class biodiversity and beauty.

Most Floridians live on the coast, which means the state is immensely vulnerable to climate change from increasingly strong hurricanes and water currents that exacerbate so-called "red tide" algal blooms, and also vulnerable to rising sea levels that are already damaging property prices in rich and poor areas alike. Still, Florida is not a place to go if you are the worrying kind. Florida is for retirement, vacation, and of course, growing oranges. It's about running away from gators and swimming in hopefully algae-free waters; about spring break and an almost endless array of golf courses. It's about beating the heat by sipping yet another mojito and hopping on an airboat across a beautiful mangrove swamp. It's about appreciating the Native American history and the blend of Cuban, Caribbean, Jamaican and other diverse cultures that make Florida so very much more than a vast retirement village for rich New Yorkers. Plus, it's about Disney World.

Are you a true Floridian? Let's find out!

Have you ever owned a swimming pool?

Have you ever sweated through more than three shirts in a day?

Have you ever had more than 15 mosquito bites at once?

Have you ever visited Nana and Pops, then gone for an early bird special?

Have you ever been a retiree?

Have you ever complained that socialists were coming for your Medicare?

Have you ever worn white linen pants?

Have you ever gotten confused when someone calls Calle Ocho “Eighth Street"?

Have you ever played more than one round of golf in a week that you were not on vacation?

Have you ever gone to the hotel pool for a nice quiet 8 a.m. swim, only to discover the DJ was already rocking out and you had to go inside again?

Have you ever been on an airboat?

Have you ever seen more than 25 political ads on TV in the course of a week?

Have you ever hosted a "hurricane party"?

Have you ever thought about selling your house before sea level rise destroys it, then felt guilty about offloading it onto a sucker?

Have you ever put on a sweater when it was 75 degrees F?

Have you ever had to remove a mangrove from a part of your house?

Have you ever had an octopus in your parking lot?

Have you ever switched from Spanish to English and back again without realizing, multiple times in one sentence?

Have you ever seen someone get hit with a chancleta and thought they probably deserved it?

Have you ever let your pet gator drive your car?

Have you ever gotten into a fight with a mascot?

Have you ever gotten a week or longer pass to Disney World?

Have you ever ridden in a golf cart when you were not playing golf?

Have you ever found a stork on your car?

Have you ever been unable to use your gun because you left it in the car and now it is too hot to touch?

Has your street ever flooded badly enough that you could row a boat along it?

Have you ever seen someone drunkenly trying to ride a manatee?

Have you ever thought something was red tide, then realized, no, that's the spring breakers barfing in the water?

Have you ever been offended by the "Florida Man" stereotype?

Have you ever bitten a dog to establish your dominance over it?

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