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About This Quiz
Life in the country and the city will have different upsides and downsides, and everyone has their preferences. Can we guess which lifestyle suits you best (whether or not you're currently living it)?
What's a good reason to be up at 5 a.m.?
My rooster is showing off.
It is my turn to look after the cows, because the dairyman is away.
I work hard and play hard.
I am still partying.
When are blackberries in season?
Late August until the first frost, which ruins them. This is known as "the Devil peed on them" (yes, really).
Summer!
Fall!
All the time!
You hit a rabbit with your car. It's still alive. What do you do?
Bash it on the head with a stick, or wring its neck. Something to put it out of its misery instantly. It's only humane to not leave the poor thing to suffer.
I know I have to kill it, so I run it over again so I don't have to touch it.
Leave it. It'll be OK. Right?
Call a veterinarian, then wonder why they are laughing at me.
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How does milk get to your fridge?
It comes from cows, then it's pasteurized, then you can drink it. Is this a trick question?
Farmer's markets.
Supermarkets.
It's delivered from upstate by a farm-to-table service I pay for.
Is organic better for the environment?
No, that's just what poncy elite people tell themselves because they are so out of touch with nature they don't know where their food comes from.
I used to believe it but then I did homework.
It's healthier for you, sure.
Of course it is! Nature is natural and the most naturey thing is the naturalest. That's just nature!
Has climate change become visible in your life yet?
Yes, and it is frightening. The trees are changing and the rainfall patterns no longer look quite the way they used to. We will have to adapt our way of life if we intend to continue farming this area.
My flood insurance premiums went up, but I can't see it on the ground yet.
No. Why, am I missing something?
Climate change isn't real!
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Do you need to see the newest thing immediately?
Eh. If it's that good it'll get here eventually.
Not really. I wait until the hubbub dies down and buy cheap.
I don't mind as long as I see it while the original cast is in it.
Yes please!
How patient are you?
I am like water. I wait, and wait, and slowly get it done.
I get antsy but I keep a grip on it.
I am not very patient, no.
I can't remember the last time I waited more than 60 seconds without having a tantrum.
Do you need to know you're in the delivery zone for 25 different Thai restaurants just to feel safe?
That sounds very fancy. I'd be very happy with just the one.
They have one of those in the next town but one. It's great!
I need at least 6, but not 25.
That's about right, yes.
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How do you defend your house in a break-in?
One shot in the burglar's chest, then one into the ceiling. Then I call the police and practice saying, "But your Honor, I fired a warning shot, there it is in the ceiling!"
Unleash the hounds!
Call the police!
Throw money at them while I flee via the fire escape.
Can you build a fire?
Yes, anywhere.
Of course - in my house, where I have equipment.
I did once at camp but I don't remember it well.
No, fire is dangerous.
You walk through a field and see cows. They're coming towards you. What do you do?
Ignore them unless they're bothering me, in which case, walk toward them with my arms out, herding them the way I want them to go. Cows are wusses, they won't fuss.
Keep walking and hope it's a coincidence and they haven't seen me yet.
Freeze. They can't see you if you don't move. They're like T-rexes that way.
Run away!
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How long can you go without checking your phone?
Four days
A day
An hour
Ten minutes. I know it's rude but I can't help it. Things might be happening to cooler people somewhere that I'm not!
What's the worst sort of internet?
All internet is bad.
Patchy internet is the worst.
Internet that occasionally flickers.
Internet that is not quite fast enough to stream Netflix over.
Do you have hayfever?
Some but I never let it control me.
No.
Yes, it knocks me out.
You know, I literally don't know. It could be hayfever, it could be something else.
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Do you fear dogs?
No, but only because I know how to tell which ones are friendly.
Sometimes.
Yes, strange ones.
Not at all! All dogs are neutered so their aggression is basically zero.
Do you know how to identify an oak tree?
It has small but rough bark, acorns, and wibbly-edge leaves, and is absolutely beautiful.
It has wibbly leaves and acorns.
Acorns I guess.
I wait for a farmer to tell me.
It's 3 a.m. and you are hungry. What do you do?
Open up the fridge. If empty, open up the backup fridge.
Go hungry.
Pop down to the deli and buy something.
Order noodles.
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Look up at night. What do you see?
Stars! I can name them all.
Stars and a little skyglow on the horizon.
Too much skyblow, it's depressing.
It's luminous and neon up there. No stars, though.
Your tire burst. What do you do?
Replace it.
Call my buddy to help me replace it.
Call triple AAA.
Call an Uber.
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How do you cool off on a hot day?
Jump in the creek!
Jump in the swimming pool!
Have an iced tea.
Go inside. Everywhere has AC these days.
Can you tell a bird from its song?
Yes, all of them.
Maybe a couple dozen, sure.
I know what pigeons sound like.
No, I just assume those sounds are ringtones.
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Can you tell what emergency service is coming by its siren?
If I hear sirens, I go to offer help before I care about that.
No, that'd be cool.
No, but I can get a sense of how many idiots are blocking them by which siren they use.
I know which service it is and which station it came from.
How far will you go to see a friend for brunch?
Brunch is for sissies.
An hour
Half an hour
Up to 40 blocks
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Can you hear your neighbor right now?
No, I would need super-hearing.
Occasionally, yes. I hate it.
No, but I bet they turn it up right before midnight.
Always. I kind of like it, especially when they do naughty things. It's so funny.
Have you ever killed your own dinner?
All the time
Sometimes
Once. I cry when I think about it.
No, that's barbaric. I let other people do it.
What's the best way to protect animals?
Habitat conservation through good land management
Non invasive farming
Going organic
Going vegan
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You Got: