Image: Unsplash by Alex Jumper
About This Quiz
Trucks. What's not to love about trucks? They're bigger, higher, heavier, more powerful, and, well, just plain better. Better than anything else on the road. That's why we love them. But, your taste in all things truck reveals more than you know about your driving personality. Are you a Road Hog? How about a Road Rager? Maybe a Roadway Citizen? Or a Roadway Retiree? If you don't know, take this test and find out what you don't know about your driving personality. It's like talking to the Sigmund Freud or Carl Jung of truck lovers. If Dr. Freud was here right now, would he commit you for your monster truck envy, or would he condemn you for your Ram obsession? Ford obsession? Chevy obsession?ÂÂ
If hypnosis can reveal what's lurking in your subconscious mind, and years of couch-bound psychotherapy can shed light on your deepest, darkest motivations, this truck personality test will drive you crazy wondering how you could have missed all these secret truck motivations for so long. So move your power seat back a bit, turn the seat heat on and relax that lumbar support. Dive into your mind to find your truckin' proclivities. The faster you find out, the quicker you'll be on the road to recovery.
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What type of truck do you drive?
A luxury SUV
A light-duty pickup truck
A heavy-duty pickup with a high-torque diesel engine and dual rear wheels
A crossover SUV
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The brand of your next truck will be ...
Lincoln, Lexus, or Land Rover
Ford, Chevy, or Ram
Subaru, Volkswagen, Honda, or Nissan
To be determined
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Truck tires can make a remarkable statement about a driver. Yours are ...
Round and black.
Knobby and have a thick, road-thwacking tread.
Manufactured to increase fuel efficiency and have a high tread wear rating.
Only slightly bigger than your 24-inch+ wheels.
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The use of chrome accessories on your truck also says a lot about your driving personality. How much have you chromed your truck and where have you put it?
Black chrome everywhere
Chrome brush guard, grille, and oversized chrome wheels
Chrome exhaust tips, mirror caps and fuel door
You live a chromeless existence, at least none added by you.
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If you were buying a pickup truck, what size of cab would you want?
Regular cab
Extended cab
Crew cab
Cab size? Who cares!
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You just won the lottery, so money is definitely no object. You going to buy a truck for your significant other (because, as you know, they come first). You buy them a ...
Vintage, 1950's show truck.
Used truck from eBay.
Brand new truck from a domestic dealership.
Brand new truck from a foreign dealership.
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Your pickup truck bed should be protected. What kind of bed protection do you use?
The usual thick plastic bedliner
A sprayed-on bedliner
There's so much dirt and stuff in your pickup bed, you haven't seen the bottom of it for years.
Your bed has no protection. (You don't need no stinkin' bed protection!)
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Truck wheels come in all sizes and metals. And costs. Your truck wheels are ...
Clean and shiny chrome, and are very large diameter.
Brushed aluminum and are an average size.
Adorned with wheel covers you bought from your neighborhood parts store on sale for $24.99.
Base stock steel wheels (and they're rusty, too).
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Lighting on a truck reveals the driver's sense of their individuality. You implement lighting on your truck by ...
Turning on your headlights when it gets dark. And if you're feeling particularly risque, you put the headlight switch on automatic.
Putting at least four high-powered lights on the bed bar so you can see where you're going when you're off-roading at night.
Placing colored LED lighting inside the cabin to promote a certain mood.
Changing your headlight bulbs to ultra-high lumen bulbs (you need to see all the way down the road).
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Can pedestrians hear your exhaust rumbling like a major thunderstorm passing through, or is yours barely audible?
As soon as I got my truck, glasspacks were installed. Can you hear me?
It rusted off years ago.
My exhaust system is the same as when I got it from the dealership. Why would I want to change it?
I installed additional catalytic converters to cut poisonous exhaust fumes. Yeah, I know, I still have a large truck carbon footprint.
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Your favorite type of road to drive your truck to get where you're going is...
Toll roads
Interstate highways
Dirt roads
State routes
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You treasure your truck and keep it in tip-top shape. When it needs TLC from a mechanic, your truck tech of choice is a ...
Dealership
You
The back alley garage down the street
A national chain
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Trucks come in many colors, some stock and some custom. Yellow is pretty rare on a truck. How do you feel about a truck painted yellow?
It's freaking awesome!
No freaking way!
Yellow, shmellow. A color's a color.
Rare is where it's at.
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Your truck engine is ...
A turbo-diesel.
A gas-powered V8.
A 4-cylinder.
High-powered turbocharged V6.
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In your world, is this a truck?
You're kidding, right?
It could be.
Damn right, it's a truck!
*Chortle*
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Trucks can go through brakes like a hot knife through butter. What type of brakes do you use on your truck?
The same kind that came on the truck from the factory
Organic
Ceramic
Metallic
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Trucks are made in various countries, each with a particular personality.Which country makes the greatest trucks?
The U. S. of A.
Germany
Japan
Great Britain
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How long a person hangs onto their truck is very revealing. How long do you plan on keeping your truck?
Until it no longer moves and I have to buy a new one
1 year. 2 years, tops
About 5 years, give or take
10 - 12 years
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Your can tattoo your truck, from simple pinstripes to intricate, multicolored decals. What kind of graphics do you put on your truck?
None
Complex multi-colored designs
Pinstripes, logos or brand names
Orange fire and brimstone, baby!
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The Jeep and the Humvee (Hummer) are trucks spawned for the American fighting forces. How do you feel about these military vehicles?
I like them both.
Gimme the Humvee!
Screw them both. I'll take a tank!
Can't we all just get along?
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What do you think of this?
It's a Chevy. It's got a pickup bed. It's a truck.
My kind of truck
Not
If you call that a truck, then that's the devil-mobile driving down the road to perdition!
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One of the greatest things about owning a truck is, if you take care of it, it will last a long, long time. When you change the oil, what type of oil do you use?
Full synthetic oil
A synthetic/conventional blend
Conventional oil
High-mileage oil
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Unfortunately, when driving your truck down the road, you can get a flat. How you deal with this (we hope) rare scenario can reveal your aspects of your driving personality. When your truck gets a flat you ...
Lower that small donut-like spare, jack the truck up and change it.
Call Roadside Assistance to get me out of this predicament.
If I'm close to home, I'll call a friend. If far way , I call AAA.
Use the full-size spare tire you bought for just such an event.
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Nothing says truck love quite like a springtime detail. Who do you get to detail your truck?
My best friend's kid is handy when it comes to trucks. I get him to do it.
There's a detail shop down the street. They do good work, and sell truck bling there, too. So, I take it to them.
My dealership does it. They detail trucks every day. They know what they're doing.
I do it myself, as in, "If you want something done right, do it yourself."
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Regular. High-octane. Mid-grade. Flex fuel. What kind of gas do you put in your truck?
High-octane and I add an octane booster, too.
Mid-grade
Flex fuel
Regular
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You left your truck unattended in the parking lot for 10 minutes while you ran in the hardware store to get supplies. You come out and find someone has put a huge dent in your door. Where do you take your truck to get it fixed?
A local body shop
I have body putty, spray paint, and sand paper in the garage. I fix it myself.
My dealership has a body shop. They're professionals. They can fix it.
My nephew's friend's cousin does body work on the side. She can do it.
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Your truck has been with you for a long while. So long, in fact, the driver's seat is beginning to tear. What do you do to repair the rip?
I'm not a seamstress. I buy a seat cover from my local auto parts chain store.
I know a guy who fixes seat covers for dealerships and car lots. I'll get him to fix it.
Duct tape fixes most everything.
A "new" seat from the junkyard
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Sometimes you don't need a professional mechanic to install a small part on your truck. You can do it yourself. Where do get your part(s)?
A national parts chain
A "big box" department store
A salvage yard
Your local dealership
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You can't drive your truck anywhere if it doesn't start. What kind of battery do you have in your truck?
My dealership sells batteries. I get the original.
I haven't needed to buy a new battery yet. I use a battery tender and charge it every month.
I buy the "Value" battery. If it goes dead after the warranty, I pitch a fit at the store I bought it from. After I'm done making a scene, they take care of it.
The highest reserve capacity, highest cold cranking amps, longest warranty battery available
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