What Should Your Name Actually Be Based on Your Personality?

Emily Maggrett

5 Min Quiz

Image: Thinkstock/Stockbyte/gettyimages

About This Quiz

Did your parents get it wrong? Are you a sky-diving international journalist named after your grandmother Edith? Or a motorcycle-riding mechanic that your mom decided to call "Julian"? If you've ever felt like your birth name just doesn't fit, this is the quiz for you! We've assembled a line-up of incisive personality questions that will test your ethics, taste in movies, romantic preferences and more. By the end of the test, we'll have built a psychological portrait of you that will tell us whether you're a William or a Billy, a plain Jane or a ravishing Rihanna.

Along the way, you'll get to consider some interesting hypothetical scenarios, such as which island nation would suit your character best, or whether you think staying faithful to your partner is the only ethical choice under every possible circumstance. We also want to know whether or not you're the funny one, if you're good at sports and how many people you've dated. Ready to find out the name that best suits your soul? Let's quiz it up!

What role do you play in your friend group?

I'm the reliable one.

I'm the fancy one.
I'm the funny one.

I'm the cool one.

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

30 minutes

60 minutes
20 minutes

90 minutes

If you were a dessert, what kind of dessert would you be?

Pineapple upside-down cake

Chocolate mousse
Cookie dough ice cream

A cake pop

What's your favorite film?

"The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover"

"Damsel"
"Iron Man"

"Roma"

How long does it take you to run a mile?

Eight minutes

Fourteen minutes (I walk, I don't run)
Ten minutes

Seven minutes

What's your favorite city?

Chicago

New Orleans
New York City

Portland

Do you have a green thumb?

My windows are full of avocado and sweet potato plants that I grew from my leftovers.

I stole a huge jade tree from my ex and somehow haven't killed it yet.
All my plants die.

I've got dozens of succulents.

Have you ever been searched at an international border?

Yes, I was strip-searched.

No! That sounds terrifying.
I've had drug-detecting dogs sniff my luggage.

No, but I'd like to be.

What's your favorite thing to do when you're alone?

I like to read.

I like to put on a dumb TV show and clean.
I like to take a shower.

I like to put on my PJs and send ambiguous texts to my ex-boyfriends and frenemies.

What's your worst recurring nightmare?

I often dream about driving a car that floats off the road. No matter what I do, I can't get it back on track.

I have a recurring dream where I'm responsible for a sick baby who I accidentally injure.
I dream of being frozen with fear in an office building as zombies approach. I want to run but I can't.

I dream of attending a banquet in my honor and having all my teeth fall out.

How many people have you dated in your lifetime?

3-4

8-10
5-6

1-2

What's your favorite type of dog?

I like black Schipperkes.

I like Pomeranians.
I like Labrador retrievers.

I like greyhounds.

If your brother stole a hundred dollars from your wallet during a family vacation and used it to buy a gift for his wife that she really loved, would you rat him out or keep quiet?

I'd keep quiet.

I'd privately ask him to pay me back, but not tell the family about the situation.
I'd tell my mom and ask her to secretly get the money back for me.

I'd confront him in front of his wife and our parents.

If someone offered to pay for you to learn a new language, including subsidizing your travel abroad, what would you say?

I would gratefully say yes.

I would have to think about it. Sounds like a big commitment.
I would say no. I don't have time for that!

I would say yes, as long as they didn't expect me to become fluent.

Would you be willing to fly over Niagara Falls in a small plane?

Yes, sounds fun.

No, that sounds really scary!
Maybe. Could I bring my partner?

Can I say yes and then cancel at the last minute?

What's your favorite book?

"Passage to Juneau"

"Nightwood"
The "Harry Potter" series

"The Great Gatsby"

Would you break up with someone if you found out they had stolen an expensive item from a small business (worth over $1,000)?

Yes. It's hard enough being a small business owner without thievery.

It would depend on how serious our relationship was and whether the item could be returned anonymously.
If they tried to tell me about it, I'd ask them to keep it to themselves.

No. That's not a deal-breaker for me.

Which of these spice combinations tastes the most delicious in sugar cookies?

Cinnamon, white pepper, ginger and allspice

Ras El Hanout
Cinnamon and cloves

Saffron, vanilla and orange peel

Have you ever attended a protest?

Yes, I've attended several.

No, but I regularly donate to high-quality social justice organizations.
Nope!

I've attended many protests.

If you were an animal, what kind of animal would you be?

A giraffe

A Persian cat
A bear

An ocelot

What letter does your last name start with?

R

D
C

G

What's your middle name?

James

Marie
Matthew

Rose

Can you draw the "Stussy" S?

Yes!

I don't know what that is.
It was my claim to fame in middle school.

No!

What age do you feel right now?

Sometimes I feel 60 and sometimes I feel 16. I don't know why.

I feel like a little kid that's trapped in an adult's body.
I feel like an "old" 22. That's my favorite age.

I've felt 35 since I was 12.

Is cheating on a partner always wrong, or are there extenuating circumstances that can make it morally acceptable?

If your partner consents to your being with others outside the relationship, then it's fine.

Well, what if your partner cheated on you and you're trying to get back at them?
It's not morally okay, but it happens.

Sometimes people do things they regret when they're upset.

What's your favorite gemstone?

Fire opal

Pearl
Diamond

Sapphire

Can you roast a chicken?

Yes. I rub it with salt and pepper, stick some rosemary and lemons in the cavity, and roast it fast at a high temperature.

Yes. I make a mean chicken cacciatore.
No, I don't know how!

I don't eat meat.

Do you usually win games?

I'm a team player but not a star.

I hate playing games.
I'm an okay player.

I play to win!

What's your favorite salad dressing?

Tahini-lemon

Oil and vinegar
Ranch

Caesar, but only if the dressing is made with anchovies and raw egg

If you had to live on one of these islands, which one would you choose?

Madagascar

Isle of Man
Oahu

Iceland

5 Minute Quiz 5 Min

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