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Where will you ride your horse?
On the moor.
On a racetrack.
On the range.
Cross-country and in fields.
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What's your horse budget?
I can spend around $2,000.
I can spend around $100,000.
I can spend around $5,000.
I can spend around $12,000.
Do you mind a high-maintenance horse?
Yes, I mind.
No, I'd love that.
I want my horse to maintain me.
I don't mind it if it's not too much.
What's your horse's temperament?
It needs to be feisty and plucky.
It needs to be high strung and fiery.
It needs to be steady but free-spirited.
I can spend around smart and precise.
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Will your horse be around other horses?
Yes, lots of ponies.
Not socially.
All the time, yes.
Yes, other working horses.
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What's the weather like where you're going together?
It'll be cold and rainy.
It'll be hot and sunny.
It will have various temperatures.
It'll be damp and breezy.
How will you dress up your horse?
I won't.
In a racing saddle.
In a Western saddle.
In a regular saddle, with ribbons in its mane.
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What color is your horse?
Bay with a white blaze.
A burnished black so deep that light simply falls into it.
Piebald.
Dapple grey.
Is your horse good with kids?
Of course!
No, my horse kicks kids.
Sure, I guess.
Not really, though it's a friendly horse.
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How surefooted is your horse?
It's almost like a mountain goat.
Not really, though my horse is good on sand.
Like a mountain goat.
Very.
Will you ever be staying out overnight?
Rarely.
Absolutely not, my horse would not stand for that.
All the time.
Only in places where I take the horsebox.
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All horses are beautiful, of course, but exactly how does your horse look?
It's small, rugged, and rotund, with a very thick mane and tail that are impossible to groom.
It's magnificent and sleek, with a thick flowing mane and tail, like the Platonic ideal of a horse.
It's tall and square, with broad shoulders and a big bushy mane and tail.
It's sensible and well-proportioned, with good even cannons, nice big sturdy hooves, and a reasonably tame mane and trail.
Is your horse going to be yours for life?
No, we will one day part with our horse to another loving family.
No, I will sell my horse for a million bucks someday.
Yes, we're buddies.
Possibly, but possibly not.
How experienced a rider are you?
I'm a newbie.
I'm an expert.
I'm very good.
I'm fairly experienced.
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How much do you know about horse care?
Not much.
Everything, and I keep a vet on speed dial.
Enough to get by.
I know the basics.
Will someone else be doing most of the caring for your horse?
My family will do it.
My groom will do it.
I will do it.
I will split it with the groom.
Do you mind a horse who might just throw you off sometimes because it felt like it?
Yes, that could hurt.
Any horse worth having will sometimes be a jerk that way.
Yes, given where I ride, that could literally kill me.
I accept that will occasionally happen.
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How "bombproof" is your horse?
My horse doesn't spook easy.
My horse is spooked by absolutely everything: a car backfiring, another horse whinnying to it, a blade of grass that is at the wrong angle...
You could set off a literal bomb, and my horse wouldn't blink.
I have a pretty solid horse, but if a bird erupted from some nearby bushes, I'd be dumped on the ground for sure.
What life stage is your horse in?
It'll be in its late teens.
It will be six or seven years old.
It will be in the middle of its teenage years.
It will be around ten years old.
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Do you hope to win prizes with your horse?
Yes, ribbons please.
Yes, massive piles of money.
Maybe for catching a steer, sure.
Yes, a few trophies for me.
Will your horse need to be good around other animals?
Yes, we have dogs.
No, my horse will know only humans and horses.
Yes, we have a farm full of animals.
Yes, we have sheep.
Does your horse need to know any fancy gaits like working, medium, extended, or collected trot?
That'd be nice, but not necessary.
It only knows how to walk, trot, and gallop, really.
No, that's too fancy for us.
Yes, that's my horse's wheelhouse.
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