How Dark Is Your Soul?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
4 min
How Dark Is Your Soul?
Image: wundervisuals/E+/Getty Images

About This Quiz

Some people think being dark is a bad thing, but those people simply don't understand why a person might be drawn to the darkness. It's not about dressing up in black leather with a studded collar and listening to super emo music. It's about understanding that darkness will eventually come to all of us, and the way to handle that is to embrace it. Let others rage against the dying of the light; some of us are happy to walk toward the shadows.

It's a tradition with fine provenance behind it. Think of all those medieval paintings that included a skull. The "memento mori" symbol, it means to remember that death is always there. It's not about fearing death, it's about understanding that it's a natural part of the cycle of life and that all things must pass. This is how renewal and growth can happen. It's also about remembering that even when you experience your greatest joys, not everyone can be there with you. Some have been lost along the way and others are suffering under their own burdens.

Is your soul dark, or do you shy away from the shadows and stick with the sunny spots? Let's find out!

How often do you think about death?
Daily
Weekly
From time to time
Rarely
Are you scared of the dark?
I love it!
I like it!
Once in a while.
Kinda, yeah.
There's a spider in the bath! What do you do?
Talk to it.
Take it outside.
Send in my dog.
Shut the door and run away forever.

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How do you feel about social pressure to always be jolly and upbeat?
It's oppressive as heck.
It's annoying.
It's rather silly.
I like it, it keeps me in touch.
Have you ever gone to therapy?
Yes, more than once.
Yes, I liked it.
I probably should.
I've never felt the need.
Would your friends call you "laid-back"?
LOL no
Probably not
Doubt it
Totally

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Do you have a pet?
No.
Yes, a cat.
Yes, a dog.
Yes, a fish!
How often are you annoyed?
Not as often as I was.
Once a day.
More than once a day.
Never, really.
Do you vote?
No, it doesn't matter anyway.
No, I'm just so busy.
Yes, it's my duty.
Of course, it matters.

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You have a free hour. What do you do?
Ponder the infinite.
Listen to music.
Read a book.
Dance!
Do you go to protests?
No, there's no point.
Only for fun.
Yes, I care about a lot of things!
No, I don't care about anything enough.
Do you smoke?
Yes, but only a pipe.
Yes, but only weed.
The occasional cheeky cigarette.
Ew, no.

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What movie genre do you loathe?
Romcom.
Action thriller.
Period drama.
Horror. Hate it hate it hate it.
You wake to the chirping of birds. How do you feel?
Annoyed
Indifferent
Entertained
Delighted!
Have you ever rage-quit a job?
No, I just stop showing up.
Yes, more than once.
Yes, once.
Of course not, that is not professional.

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Do you know your neighbors?
No, there's no point to that.
We are on nodding terms.
We are friendly acquaintances.
We are friends.
How much do you worry?
Not much
Average
Constantly, honestly
Never ever!
Do you meditate?
Yes, I connect with the shadows.
I used to, but it's so hipster now, I can't bear it.
I probably should.
I tried but it was boring.

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What celebrity needs to be canceled, stat?
All of them. Celebrity is a sham.
Kim Kardashian
Glenn Beck
Louis CK
What color are your bedrooms walls?
Slate grey
Burgundy
Navy
Green
Do you like most people?
No, people suck. Including you. Yes, you. And me.
I like about 10%.
I like half of people.
Most, yes? All, no.

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Your colleague is blathering on about his terrible love life, again. What do you do?
Tell him to move on.
Pretend to listen.
Listen.
Give him a hug until he shuts up.
You're on a date that is going horribly. How fast do you bail?
30 minutes or less.
60 minutes or less.
90 minutes at least.
I stay until it's done. It'll be a good story one day.
Which is the best way to dump someone you were never that serious with?
Send them a dead rat.
Ghost them. They'll get it.
Text them.
Call them - it's the decent thing to do.

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What opinion could someone hold that would have you swooning immediately?
I don't swoon.
They could hate most things.
They could be a feminist.
They could read the news and say, "I'm going to fact-check that."
Do you study a lot of history?
Yes, it's how I know we're screwed.
Not really.
Yes. Depressing stuff.
Just enough.
Would you ever join the military?
And get paid to kill people? Heck yeah!
No, the military is all about obeying, and I don't do that.
No, I can't do that many push-ups.
No, I like peace too much.

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Do you have a lot of regrets?
No, what's the point?
I've come to terms with most of them.
A bunch, yes.
Nah, I'm too sunny.
Do you plan long term?
No, I could be dead soon. What's the point?
Only a year or so.
I try to.
Yes, I want a good life!
Your cat brings you a dead mouse. What do you do?
Stuff the mouse, like the others.
Thank the cat.
Put it in the bin.
Run away screaming.

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You Got: