Which Type Of British Man Should You Date?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
4 min
Which Type Of British Man Should You Date?
Image: izusek/E+/GetyImages

About This Quiz

The stereotypical image of British men is pretty thoroughly embodied by two men these days: Colin Firth and Hugh Grant.

They typically play one of three roles. There's the emotionally crippled posh duffer, as played by Grant in "Four Weddings." There's the sexy (if you like that sort of thing!) cad, as depicted by Grant in "Bridget Jones' Diary." Lastly, there's the emotionally stunted but fixable hero, embodied by Firth in the BBC adaptation of "Pride and Prejudice." The fourth quintessentially British man is, of course, James Bond, who's been played by a number of people.

However, these depictions don't come close to covering the glorious variety of manhood to be found in Britain. After all, where would we be without the Cockney smoldering of an Idris Elba character, the zany devil-may-care wit of one of David Tennant's incarnations, the sexy lad represented by James McAvoy or the fierce genius and vulnerability of everyone played by Eddie Redmayne? British men come in many shapes and sizes and suit many kinds of potential girlfriends (or boyfriends). Fortunately, we've distilled them down into the four main categories, to help you assess the essential question: Which type of British man would be the right soulmate for you? Take this quiz to find out!

Would you like him to pay on your dates?
Very much so
Never
Going Dutch is OK
If he's willing to
Where do you want to run away to with your dream man?
Paris
Stay in the U.K.
America
Eastern Europe
What nickname will he call you?
Darling!
Babe
The old ball and chain (but nicely)
Love

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How emotionally open should he be?
Closed
Average
Mostly open
Mostly closed
What kind of dancing would you like to do with him?
Scottish dancing
Whatever people do at clubs these days
Swing, just for fun!
We won't dance.
Who will make dinner - you or him?
His chef will make dinner.
Mostly him
We'll be in hotels.
Mostly me

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What will he wear on your first date?
Tweed blazer and slacks
Jeans and a nice shirt
Very expensive suit
Nice jeans and a shirt
Who would you like to hang out with together?
Educated people from all over the world
Just ordinary families
The coolest people in the world
Friendly rural villagers
What do you think his family's like?
They're like Jane Austen characters.
Nice and decent people
He won't get on with them and nor will I.
They have all these adorable traditions and are close-knit.

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What industry should your ideal guy work in?
Venture capital
Marketing
This and that
Farming
What should he like most about being British?
Tradition
Knowing the Nazis are always the bad guys!
The spirit of enterprise
Heritage
Have you ever knowingly committed a crime?
Only a teensy one!
No
Yep
Only in my misspent youth

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Do you care much what your extended family thinks of him?
Very much
A bit
No, my family is the worst!
Less than I used to
How should he be involved in his community?
He should be a pillar!
He should give to charity and sometimes show up for political causes he cares about.
He should have friends to whom he is a great guy, but otherwise, I don't care.
He should be a good neighbor who volunteers for local causes.
Are you a family-oriented person?
Mostly
As much as anyone!
No
Yes

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What sort of jewelry might he wear?
Signet ring with his family crest
A little cross, perhaps
All the jewelry a man can put on his body without being a drag queen
None
When he's just occupying his brain - say, while waiting for something to load - what does he do?
Plays Minesweeper
Sings to himself
Plays with a deck of cards
Whittles something
How does he feel about the queen?
He met her and he says she's great.
He thinks the monarchy is weird, but on an individual level, she's nice!
Admiring but cynical
He looks up to her tremendously and is glad she is queen.

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Are you willing to do quite a lot of work to get a guy to see a few things from another point of view?
Yes, constantly
Not really
As long as he offers me the same
Once in a while
Which Britishism do you really hope he'll use perfectly earnestly?
"I say!"
"Hit for six"
"Laters"
"Gosh!"
What sort of education would you like him to have?
Public school (which is private school, in Britain!) and then Oxford
Regular comprehensive school and then local college
He left school at 18 and took a degree in the University of Hard Knocks!
Local school and then trade school

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British people are absolutely mad about dogs. What dog will you two get together?
Two Labradors
One Jack Russell
We will travel too much!
Two spaniels and a Dachshund
Will he mind if you don't know how to observe the rules of etiquette?
Yes. I will have to learn.
As long as I am polite, the specific rules don't matter to him.
He doesn't care!
If I have the basics down, that's enough.
How would you like to meet him?
Through friends
At his local pub
In an expensive hotel bar
At the village barn dance

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Where would you go on holiday?
Mustique
Greece
Everywhere!
France
Should he have lived anywhere besides the British Isles?
Yes, during his gap year
Probably not, but he has traveled to a number of places and once spent six months going around South America.
Yes, many places
No
Will he care much about Brexit?
He's torn.
He's strongly against it.
He doesn't care.
He's strongly for it.

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Other than a dog, what animal might he have?
Horses!
Rabbit
Cat
Bird
What car would you like to drive?
Secondhand Land Rover
Honda
Ferrari
Third-hand SUV of indeterminate make
Where would you like to spend your Saturday nights in twenty years' time?
At home in our manor house, hosting a house party
Dinner and a movie, sometimes with the kids, sometimes just us
On a weekend trip to Tokyo
Home with the kids making dinner

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