What British Chocolate Are You?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
5 min
Misterious woman Do you contain multitudinous mysteries?
Yes, a few
One or two
Yes, actually
Nope

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Friends embracing Be honest: What percentage of people actually like you?
95%
Probably 65%
10%, which is how I like it
About half

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Alone at party Have you ever found yourself sitting alone at a party with nobody to talk to?
No, I am always in the heart of the action.
Very rarely!
All the time, which I like
Once in a while

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Woman pointing What happened to the last person who underestimated you?
Nobody ever underestimates me.
They got a shock.
I destroyed them.
I outlasted them.

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Man trying to kiss How long do you usually need to win over someone who initially thinks they don't like you?
Two or three seconds
One afternoon
I don't even try. It's not my problem if they have bad taste.
Either they like me at once or they never will!

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Fans Friends are good, but fans are better. Do you agree or disagree?
I love both!
I'm easy, as long as people like me.
I only like friends.
I prefer fans.

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Man under pressure What happens to you when the heat is on, figuratively speaking?
I melt at once!
I suffer but I soldier on.
I hang in as best I can.
I seem like I will go to pieces, but I don't. Not one bit.

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Woman waiting at cafe When is the last time you made plans and simply didn't show up?
Never!
Not for months
Not for years
Last week

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Overseas exploration Have you got a lot of friends overseas?
Yes! I am popular and widely loved.
Weirdly enough, no
I have never been overseas.
Yes, quite a few

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London In which part of the UK do you feel you fit in most?
Everywhere!
London
Up north
The 'burbs

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Saturday agenda Your friend asks, "Do you have plans Saturday?" What do you say in response?
"I've been invited to a party actually."
"Yes, I'm seeing a movie."
"Depends, what's up?"
"Let me check my book."

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Woman alone If someone left you in the back of the fridge for six months, figuratively speaking, what sort of state would you be in when you came out?
I would be dead.
I would survive, just.
I would be fine after a little thawing out.
I would be exactly the same.

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Mean man Someone is being mean to you. How do you respond?
I bombard them with loveliness.
I give it my best effort, then give up.
I'm perfectly sweet, but nothing more.
I ignore them.

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Diverse people together Do you get on well with people who are unlike you?
Yes, mostly
Yes, but I prefer my fellow nerds/bookworms/jocks (as applicable!)
No
Sure, if they are cool

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Extravagant woman Has anyone ever told you that a little of you goes a long way?
Yes, but they are wrong.
Once in a while, I hear this.
Yes, and they are right.
No, people can't get enough.

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Band in USA If you were a band, could you make it to number one in America?
I think so, but I would never try.
Probably
Definitely not. I'm an acquired taste.
I already have!

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Surprised woman How often do people tell you they were surprised by something about you, once they got to know you?
Fairly often
Not often
Once in a while
Never

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Pretty and funny woman Everyone is attractive in their own way. Which word best describes your appeal?
Pretty
Cute
Smooth
Sexy

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Friends talking Whose good opinion of you would come as a total surprise?
Snobs
Extreme introverts
Suburban housewives
Prudes

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Like-minded young people How often are you found around like-minded people?
Sometimes. I like to mix it up.
I mostly hang out in my bubble. It's safe there.
Nobody's mind is like mine.
I get on with most people.

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Chocolate flavors Which flavour is the best combination with chocolate?
Hazelnut. Obviously! Also orange.
Caramel is the only flavour that goes with chocolate.
Mint!
Anything but peanut. Deep down, you know I'm right.

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Woman holding up hand As your chocolate bar counterpart, against what criticism are you prepared to defend yourself?
I am a little uncontroversial.
I do have a weird name.
I am a bit samey.
I do come across as weirdly desperate.

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Criticism What frequent critcism of your non-chocolate self do you think is probably fair?
I'm really cute ... and I know it.
I am sometimes offensively relentless.
I don't give anything away.
I am a little obvious about what I want.

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Recyclable How important is it to you that packaging is recyclable?
It's the most important thing!
Pah! Screw the Earth!
It's helpful.
Honestly, I don't really think about it.

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Signing petition Someone asks you to sign a petition, but you don't care about the cause. Do you sign?
Sure. Why not keep the peace?
I let them persuade me for a while then sign, so they feel like they earned it.
No
I sign a fake name.

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People on airplane Three minutes into your flight, you realize your seatmate is a crashing bore. How do you survive?
I don't believe anyone is boring!
Talk endlessly so they never get a word in
Ignore them
Seduce them then abandon them in the toilet!

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Slim body How would you describe your body type?
Cute and appealing
Short and squat
Slim and long
Curvy and gorgeous

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Relaxed woman When do you feel most relaxed?
At a party
At a movie
At home on my own
With my boo

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Crowd movie theater You're in a crowded movie theater. How much effort do you make to be considerate of others?
Only whatever is comfortable for me!
As much as is polite
None
I do my best!

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Australia map You have to go to Australia, but you are not allowed to take a plane. How do you do it?
Trains and cruise ships!
Probably buy a little sailboat and go that way.
Ride a horse to Hong Kong then hide in a container ship.
I'd just have to skip it. I'm not dying on the high seas!

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