Image: Wiki Commons by Keith Allison
About This Quiz
Most of the time, drafting in the NBA is a critical part of the year, as it gives teams the chance to add fresh, young talent that can improve their chances of winning, or provide trade bait for the latest superstar to hit the trading block.
But some seasons, the talent available is so transcendent that the draft can alter the entire trajectory of a franchise. One of our best examples comes in 1984. After Houston predictably drafted the college phenom, Hakeem Olajuwon, the Portland Trailblazers picked Sam Bowie, allowing the Chicago Bulls to make the most crucial selection in team history - drafting a shooting guard from the University of North Carolina named Michael Jordan. Bowie would later be included on a Sports Illustrated list of biggest draft busts in history. Jordan, as you might have heard in the three and a half decades since that fateful night, was not a bust. He went on to lead the Bulls to six NBA championships and is now considered the greatest player to ever set foot on an NBA court.
But hey, you're not here to revisit history; you probably know all that stuff. You just want to know, to make your daydreams more accurate, which big league squad would be welcoming you to the roster on draft night? We got you! Shoot through these questions, and we'll let you know which team's hat you'll be putting on when you join the league.
The first question may be the most important — what kind of suit are you wearing at the draft?
Something traditional by the best designer I can find
A sharp tuxedo in an unusual color
An understated power suit in gray or charcoal
Whatever formal, comfortable clothes I have
Most players today are in several other businesses outside of their athletic pursuits. Do you need to play in a market with lots of off-court opportunities?
I think I'd have sponsorship opportunities no matter where I play.
No, I'm more focused on basketball.
Yes, I want to be near a major hub of activity.
Yes, I definitely want to increase my fame.
They all have passionate fans, but every NBA city is geographically different. Would you prefer a larger or smaller area?
Bigger is better!
I want to represent as many people as possible.
Somewhere in the middle
I'll take small-town passion over big-city politics.
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Newer teams bring a fresh, exciting energy, but older teams have history on their side. Do you care about your team's brand legacy?
Yes, I want the team to be known for excellence.
It's not that important — I'm fine with a younger franchise.
Definitely, I want to be the latest in a long line of stars.
It's nice to have history, but it doesn't have to be recently successful.
Players don't always see owners on a day-to-day basis, but they still influence the team. Do you care about having a great owner?
No, it's not that big of a deal.
I'd rather my owner be low-key and hands-off.
I prefer having more legendary figures around than a single powerful owner.
I'm more concerned with a solid front office chain of command.
Coaches determine whether players are set up for success or not. Do you want to play somewhere with a legacy of great coaches?
Definitely, my team should have excellent coaching talent.
The franchise and legacy are more important.
It doesn't really matter to me; I'm more focused on the team.
Yes, absolutely — I'd love to play under one of the league's legendary coaches.
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Everyone has to eat, especially NBA players. What kind of cuisine do you want your team's city to specialize in?
BBQ
Mexican
Upscale, gourmet dishes
I want all the food!
NBA teams play in remarkably diverse climates. What kind of weather would you prefer in your home city?
I like warm weather more than cold.
I think the winter snow is very pretty.
I'm fine with a well-balanced set of seasons.
The more sunshine, the better!
Some team histories involve players who are head and shoulders above others in the league. Do you want a chance at being one of the best players in a team's history?
I don't need to be the best, just being a star would be enough.
I wouldn't mind it.
Yes, I want to be one of the few greatest to ever play for my franchise.
I care more about continuing the team's legacy of success.
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When it comes to actual gameplay, what style of basketball do you most enjoy?
A smart team-based ball with many different plays
An uptempo game involving transition play
Doing whatever works best against the opponent
The triangle offense
What would be your biggest strength on the court as an NBA player?
Contributing to the team wherever they need it
Setting an example of hard work and selflessness
Scoring, preferably in a flashy way
Playing tough and committing to winning
All players have to speak to reporters from time to time. What's your attitude on talking to the media?
I would be pretty comfortable talking to the media without giving away too much.
It would be an excellent opportunity to increase my celebrity status.
I'd prefer not to get much media coverage.
I think it'd be more of a distraction and aim to minimize it.
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Of the list below, who is your favorite NBA player?
Magic Johnson
Patrick Ewing
Russell Westbrook
Tim Duncan
Which of these products would you be most likely to endorse as an NBA player?
A performance drink
Wine
A tech startup
A line of sports clothes
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Pro athletes have a lot of notoriety, especially at the top levels. What would be your favorite benefit of being a celebrity?
Hanging out with other famous people
Access to lots of business opportunities
The freedom to live life on my own terms
Getting the best possible help at improving my craft
Basketball players are known for their sweet rides. What dream car are you purchasing when you make the league?
A Ford F500
A Ferrari
A Hummer H2
A Lamborghini
NBA careers are relatively short in the grand scope of life. What do you see yourself doing after you retire from the league?
Getting into acting
Starting a venture capitalist fund
Buying a ranch
Becoming a coach
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Pre-draft scouting can make or break a team's decisions. What trait would you convey in your team interviews and workouts?
Commitment
Energy
Leadership
Teamwork
Outside of the NBA, what's your favorite sports team?
Oklahoma Sooners
Texas Rangers
New York Yankees
Los Angeles Dodgers
Would you be the type of NBA player to settle down romantically, or enjoy attention on the road?
I'd prefer to be with one person faithfully.
I'd settle down and keep my focus on work.
I'd date around but try to keep it secret.
I'd try to form high-profile relationships with celebs.
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Every NBA player deals with adversity. How would you handle a bad shooting slump?
Get my mind off the game for a bit
Maintain confidence in myself and keep trying
Rely on my teammates to pick me up
Start practicing more
What kind of music do you want playing in the locker room as you are getting ready for a game?
Rock
Hip-hop
Country
Reggaeton
Sometimes offseason activity gets more attention than the games themselves. How would you handle being linked to a trade rumor?
I would try to keep playing for my teammates.
I'd use it to elevate my status in the media.
I'd do my best to ignore it.
I would keep my focus on playing hard.
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Which of these famous NBA legends would you most want to mentor you?
David Robinson
Russell Westbrook
Patrick Ewing
Magic Johnson
What are your favorite colors to wear while playing basketball?
Black and silver
Purple and gold
White and blue
Orange and white
When not playing or practicing, what would you want to do for fun in your home city?
Go to parties thrown by other famous people
Eat at the best restaurants
Explore nature
Read and learn about the world
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Do you want to play on a team that has a history of winning championships?
I'm not that concerned about team history.
Recent history isn't that important, but they should have some history.
Yes, they need to have many decades of success.
It would be better.
Player relationships are the most important on the floor. What gift would you give teammates to help establish a bond?
Designer watches
Stock in a major company
Gourmet steaks
A nice dinner at a great restaurant
Being a basketball player isn't all fun and wealth. What would be your least favorite thing about playing in the league?
Losing games to better teams
Playing with other players who don't fit my style
Increased scrutiny from the media
Competition from other star players
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You Got: