Can We Guess If Your Love Is Healthy for You?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
6 min
Can We Guess If Your Love Is Healthy for You?
Image: PeopleImages / E+ / Getty Images

About This Quiz

They say the course of true love rarely runs smoothly, but those of us fortunate enough to find true love with a well-adjusted, warm, respectful person know that this is, happily, not true! True love can be smooth. Indeed, when it is done right, true love is as smooth as a delicious chocolate fondue. It is like settling into a nice warm bath that is always at the perfect temperature, with just the right amount of Epsom salts.

It can be easy to assume that true love is like the movies, always threatened by neuroses or outside forces. If the examples in your life were dysfunctional, you can wind up with no good role model for a relationship that is sustaining, wholesome, and yet still exciting. Such a relationship can even seem like an impossibility.

This can lead to people putting up with unhealthy behaviors in their partner, or accepting treatment that is not good enough. With love's blinkers on, however, it can be hard to realize what's going on and label it for what it is. That's why we've written this quiz to help you evaluate whether your relationship is healthy, whether it needs a little work, or whether it's merely sucking the life out of you. Let's get started!

Q 01 Chilling at home How do you feel when you're just chilling at home with your partner?
Calm and happy
Pretty comfy
Mostly happy but sometimes a little excited, but I'm not sure if it is in a good or bad way.
A little nervous

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Q 02 Going on a date How often do the two of you spend special time together, like going on a date or just setting aside an hour to snuggle?
Weekly or more
A couple of times a month
Monthly or so
Rarely

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Q 03 Problem with something If your partner has a problem with something you did, how do you hear about it?
They tell me nicely, as soon as they can.
They try to ignore it but then tell me later.
They passive-aggressively avoid me, then mutter.
They shout at me, sometimes in public.

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Q 04 Often argue How often do you argue?
Regularly but never with shouting!
From time to time
I don't think we can be bothered.
Daily if I don't make an effort to keep the peace

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Q 05 Harmonious and kind What were the relationships like in the home where you grew up?
Harmonious and kind
Pretty warm with occasional shouting
Erratic
Non-existent

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Q 06 Addams Family Which movie do you think depicts a desirable relationship?
Weirdly enough, the lead couple in that "Neighbors" movie with Seth Rogen and Rose Byrne.
Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet in "Pride & Prejudice," but only at the end once they've grown up a bit.
It's perverse, but I'm going with "The Addams Family."
"Fifty Shades of Grey" depicts a great couple!

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Q 07 Married friends How many of your close friends are happily married?
Most of them
A few
Almost none
Some are married. Happily? Only they know!

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Q 08 Spread too thin What character flaw do you need to work on most?
I forget to say "no" because I want to help, then get spread too thin.
I have a temper.
I'm flaky.
I'm a total doormat, and I know it.

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Q 09 Something small If you ask your partner nicely to do something small but slightly inconvenient, what are the odds that they will do it?
90%
75%
40%
I would not ask them to inconvenience themselves, nor would they.

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Q 10 Fold laundry When was the last time your boo did something nice but mundane for you, just because (e.g., fold all your laundry without asking, make dinner for both of you, etc)?
Today
This week
This season
I don't remember.

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Q 11 Leaving you How often does your partner speculate aloud about leaving you?
As a joke or a nightmare they had? Once in a while.
A few times a year
Oh, we both know this won't last.
Whenever I give them a reason

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Q 12 Gone through some things Have the two of you gone through some things together?
You name it, we survived it. Job loss, health issues, death of loved ones ...
One or two things
Not yet
Yes, and we broke up temporarily.

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Q 13 Trust them around child or pet Do you absolutely trust your partner around your child or pet?
Of course! They are my co-parent/owner in all things!
Yes, as long as we agree on the rules.
Generally, yes. They might be a little irresponsible for long stays, though.
Well, they can be a bit irritable, so maybe taking care of children or animals is not the best idea.

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Q 14 Snoop through phones Do you ever snoop through each other's phones?
We know all the passwords, but I don't know or care whether they snoop.
Once in a while, for fun
I totally would if I could.
No, if you look at their phone, it means you are untrusting, and that isn't true love.

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Q 15 Mostly mutual How do you feel about your partner's best friend's influence?
Most of our friends are mutual, so fine.
Mostly OK, except that one guy
All their friends are awful.
I don't know their friends.

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Q 16 Plan for your birthday What did your partner plan for your last birthday?
A spa visit for me then a lovely dinner and a funny show
A day at a theme park, just to mix it up
We haven't been together on my birthday yet (that they know of)
A romantic trip away!

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Q 17 Away for a trip You're going away on a trip. How does your boo show they care while you are gone?
They look after the house and call daily. I come home to a clean home, dinner and a little gift.
They leave cute notes in my luggage and send me lots of messages.
We don't stay in touch when I'm away. It's too much work.
I would never take a solo trip. That's not how relationships work.

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Q 18 Their family Do you get on with your partner's family?
Yes, they are like my family!
We are polite, and they're good people, though we might not be friends if we didn't both love my boo.
I've never met my boo's family.
They told me their family is terrible so we don't see them.

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Q 19 Call names Has your partner ever flat-out called you names?
Absolutely not
Yes, once, but they said sorry
Only when we're both drunk
Yes, but in their defense I really was being an ungrateful idiot!

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Q 20 Lying about relationship Do you ever find yourself lying about your relationship to other people?
No, why would I?
Only if I'm in a mood with them and I'm worried I'll say something I don't mean!
Not really
Yes, but only because people don't understand or get jealous of our love.

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Q 21 Rocking chairs holding hands Can you see the two of you in rocking chairs, aged 95 and still holding hands?
Of course
I hope so!
Not really
That's what they told me is happening, so I guess that's happening.

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Q 22 Appreciate things Do you feel like your partner appreciates things about you that nobody else does?
Yes, it's so nice to be seen!
No, I think they appreciate the same things as other people who love me.
I don't think so.
Of course. Nobody will ever love me like they do. They told me so.

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Q 23 Secret Have you ever been able to trust your boo with a secret?
Of course
Yes, but I keep a few to myself
No, nor would I
I had to tell all my secrets. You can't have secrets from your boo.

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Q 24 Change yourself Has your boo ever told you to change something about yourself?
Yes, but it was something I was already trying to change about myself, and I asked for their help.
Not more than once, that's for sure
No, I don't think they know me well enough.
Yes, it's for my own good.

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Q 25 Learned because of them Is there anything you're into that you learned specifically because of them?
We introduced each other to a couple of hobbies that are now mutual.
I go along with their interests but have not really picked up any that I'd do just for myself.
Not yet
I mostly do the things they are into, now. They just have better taste.

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Q 26 Access to financial information Do you let your partner have access to your financial information?
We're fully integrated, but it took some years..
We have a joint account and separate accounts.
LOL, no!
Yes, it would be bad to withhold that sort of thing.

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Q 27 Order for each other How accurately can you order for each other in a restaurant?
85% of the time
60% of the time
20% of the time
I always let them order for me. They know what I need!

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Q 28 Love language Do you know what their love language is?
Yes, and it is the same as mine!
Yes. It's different than mine, but we make it work.
What is a love language?
They buy expensive things. That's their love language.

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Q 29 Being single How often does your mind drift to what it would be like to just be single?
Once in a while. It seems awful.
Once in a while it seems like it could be nice, for a few days anyway.
All the time
Never! That's cheating, mentally. Besides, I could never leave them.

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Q 30 BFF about relationship What does your BFF think about your relationship?
They love it!
They like it.
They are jealous of the time it takes up.
I haven't seen my BFF in a while. I've been busy with my boo.

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You Got:

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